CTA Tattler

People here who live/work near the Mag Mile will know who I'm talking about. I got on a northbound 146 the other day and Sandwich Board Guy was on the bus! He got off at the last stop before the Drive.

I've never been that close to the guy before because I make it a rule to avoid crazy people when at all possible. On the bus he was muttering something about the "demons from England" who are "holding America hostage" and that only twenty-something percent of Europeans believe in Heaven anymore.

Anyone lucky enought to be on the Red Line last Wednesday in the car that had feces smeared all over the seat? The smell was overpowering. I was prepared to warn people, but as soon as they went near it, everyone was repelled.

It pretty much proves we are descended from apes, IMHO.

On a Southbound Red Line at Argyle today (Saturday) at 5:45pm:

Young Girl on her Cell Phone: "I'm so sad. I'm sad. Sad, sad, sad. My boyfrind broke up with me today because he didn't wanna have a baby with me. I'm so sad. (Insert bawling here) OK! Call me!"

Moments later: "John? It's Tammy. I'm sad. I'm very sad. UGH! Hang on, the train's making an announcement ("This is Sheridan"). OK. I'm sad. Call me!"

This went on with other calls all the way to the tunnel portal.

At Fullerton, a 20-something well-dressed and seamingly well well-raised woman seats herself next to me facing the aisle. She's talking to her male friend. She starts flicking her long, (bleached) blonde hair back towards me while running her fingers through it. several strands of her long (bleached) blonde hair fall on my black jacket.

I picked them off and handed them back to her while saying "Here. I think these belong to you." She moved to another seat in a huff.

At Grand: An older black gent rides up the escalator in front of me. Blows a "farmer's snot" onto the hand rail.

Are you annoyed by yapping cellers? We'll, you should know that we who use the "L" are not the only ones. Wired News has an article about The Society for HandHeld Hushing or SHHH and how they have developed flash cards with messages tellling people about their rude celler behavior.

Messages read: "Just so you know: Everyone around you is being forced to listen to yer conversation" and "The world is a noisy place. You aren't helping things.".

So if you're sitting at the train and the person next to you is yapping away incessantly just hand them on of these flash cards...

and then step out of the train fast!

cant we just get over it? ive been on trains where i felt like i was at some party or a schoolyard at lunchtime and i still was able to lean against the window, close my eyes and relax after a days work.. but then thats me, i grew up on a busy street etc .. and how about montrose busses so crowded, youre suddenly forced to have intimate moments with a rainbow assortment of strangers, old, young, men and women and then you have to start heading for the door about a mile before your stop... funky smells, psychos, etc who gives a f if someone wants to share the conversation, its just another thing for us to post on here if its interesting eneough. but my sister said she read or heard somewhere that we get annoyed by this because our brains want to know the other side of the conversation so even though we could care less about it, the fact that we have to hear one side but not the other subconsiously bothers us, so for that i say do what i do - a guy on the bus yelled in his cell "so what are you doing now??" i said to myself, "im on the bus! , im goin home, what do you think?"

Take heart Red line riders, there are crazies aboard the Brown line also! During the recent cold spell I witnessed the following: a youngish, slightly overweight girl with Johnnie tattooed on her left arm was sitting listening to some music through her headphones. It was rather loud and I came to the conclusion that she did not actually have the headphones on but rather they were located in the backpack on her lap. Nothing too abnormal about this right? When she exited at Belmont I noticed that her right arm had Jainie (sp?) tattooed on her right arm. And the reason I noticed? She was carrying her coat (not that it was a very heavy one to begin with...). Yes, as all the other commuters were bundled up with their wool coats, hats, scarfs, mittens, etc (me included) this girl was wearing a short sleeve top that barely covered her stomach. No hat, no gloves, no scarf and definitely no coat. This and the temperature hovering in the single digits...

One woman twisted around trying to get a glimpse of the girl after she left the train but she had disappeared from sight.

fools

With all due respect...

Could the person working in the office facing the Brown line tracks on Wells St., who has the W. sign in the window please take it down?

Seeing it every morning on my way downtown doesn't cheer my day.

Many thanks.

A bit of transit news:
The Chicago Tribune (registration required) and CTA both have articles on the CTA's plan to buy anywhere from 206 to 706 new el cars. These cars would have the longitudinal (inward facing) seating pattern seen on test cars 3407-3408 last year. In addition, these cars would use AC power, instead of the DC power el cars operate off of now.
These cars are being slated to replace the 2200-series cars now in service on the Blue Line, which are over 30 years old and not ADA accessible due to their blinker-style doors. The new cars will also feature fewer seats than the cars they are replacing, though the CTA notes that they do have the same number (39) as 3200s (Brown, Orange, and Yellow Lines).
The biggest complaint I heard about longitudinal seating when the test cars were in service was that they had fewer seats than most of the CTA's current cars, which is true. The main factor in this, though, is the CTA's desire to not redesign the overall layout of their cars. As far as I know, the CTA is sticking with the seating plan laid out in the test cars, though if they did a little redesigning, and didn't stick to longitudinal seating throughout the whole car, they could get at least 95 seats per married pair--the current seating capacity of the 2600s (Red and Blue Lines, mainly).
Regardless of the ultimate design choices, though, these new cars are expected to arrive in 2008, assuming that the CTA is pleased with the bids it receives...

It was about two in the morning, I was riding the Blue Line to Forest
Park. Everyone on the train is either going to work a night shift, or
homeless and nodding out. It's very quite and all of a sudden two
kids, probably about 16 or 17 and one older guy probably in his
twenties come in the train from another car... Masks over their faces,
with spray paint, markers, etching tools and bottles of ink they are
writing on everything. One starts pulling the plastic coating off the
window and scratching his name into it. They are spray painting on the
windows and doors, writing all over the side panels and ceiling with
ink and markers... I just sat there and watched in disbelief; Taken
back by the fact that three people could so calmly and quickly destroy
a whole traincar like that. It reminded me of the New York City
subway in the 80's...
A sleeping man awoke and pulled out his cellphone stating "I'm
calling the police", one of the younger boys replied stating "Go
ahead, you won't get any reception, anyway". The man shrugged and fell
back asleep.They snapped a photo of their work, got their stuff
together, took their masks off and got off at Grand. One was a younger
white male with blonde-ish brown hair, the other was a younger black
male with an afro and the third was an older black male. When I exited
the train at Washington, I looked in the train from the platform and
saw that they didn't just tag all over the car I was in, but also in
about three other cars. Crazy kids.

I was riding the 66 Chicago bus last night from Milwaukee to the Brown Line, and all was well and quiet. Then the CTA "voice" came on. "Halsted . . . 700 North . . . Smoking, eating, drinking and GAMBLING are prohibited."

One night on the 145 bus: As we were nearing the Belmont and LSD exit, a mother gave her son her cell phone to talk to his grandmother. The boy was old enough to know how to use the phone but young enough not to understand that he didn't have to shout into it. Although it was a cute conversation, it was getting annoying. Finally, after a slow descent down the ramp and as we came to a stop at the stoplight, the boy could be hear saying, "and we're going so fast," to which the bus driver said, "not really!" And we all laughed.

Blue Line - 2/1/05
I'm on the Blue line to O'hare around 7:30am - the train pulls into the Chicago Ave. station and I look accross the platform and there is train going the opposite direction. As the doors opened, I could see 4 or 5 guys dressed in the uniforms of the Chicago Rush football team standing in the doorway of the other train. They are in a full football uniform - pants that end just below the knee, shoulder pads, HELMETS - the works! I assumed they were on their way to some marketing promotional stunt.

Football pants don't have pockets - so where did they keep their transit cards.

Today 2/7/05 my son and I took our usual inbound red line trip from Addison. At either Belmont of Fullerton a blind lady in her late sixties or so got on with her dog. The train was more crowded than usual but not terrible. I've seen this lady 5-6 times in the past year so she's a fairly regulary rider. Anyway, not a soul got up or offered her a seat (my son and I were standing). So this lady and her dog hang on for dear life, bouncing around with the rest of us (remember, not only is she blind, but she's in her late sixities and has only one free hand because of the dog). After North and Clybourn she says out loud "are there any seats available yet". We were a few people away, so I didn't answer at first but when no one around her answered I finally said "no, none yet". Either she didn't hear me or she was trying to send a message because she said it again, this time directly to the person standing next to her, who finally answered. But, not one of the 7-8 twenty somethings at that end of the car budged to give up there seat. I kick myself now for not saying anything or not saying anything witty like "none yet, but I'm sure one of these young people will give up theirs". The lady bounced around, got pushed around with doors opening and closing and finally got a seat after Grand. The one good thing I can say is that this was an exception. I have often (but not too often) seen people give up their seats before. It was just such a glaring exception. Maybe all the young Wrigleyvillites were hung over from their superbowl parties?

I am CheekeyMonkey, The Ever Observant Train Rider. I see you, but you don’t see me.

You are Mr. Self-Importance. You hold your Grande Starbucks in your hand, cut in front of everyone in line just to secure your spot by the door. You do not let anyone off the train while you shove me to the side. Then you usher people in, pretending to be so kind.

You are Ms. Prim and Proper. Sitting there with you hair and make-up perfectly done. You were lucky enough to get a seat and you are reading the latest “bestseller”. You were the perfect shade of eye shadow to match your pastel coat. You hold onto your trendy purse and you never look up. You get annoyed when the seat next to you gets filled. You were probably popular in school, but never the Prom Queen.

You are the Goth, Angst Ridden Student. You could be a downtown art student, but most likely you are an honors student at the local high school. You use your looks to detract from the fact that you are smart. Smart is not cool. You get annoyed at the adults who “just don’t get it” as you shove your way through the crowd. You roll your eyes at all the conformists and click your tongue ring.

You are a part of the iPod Posse. You got your iPod for Christmas, but act like you have had it since it came out. You peek at it at every stop, making sure all new riders know you are a part of the iPod Posse. The Angst Ridden Student really dislikes you. Come to think of it, so does the Ms. Prim and Proper as you are brushing up against her perfect coiffeur.

You are the Administrative Assistant, pretending to be something more. However, your vacant look and gym shoes give you away. You don’t care enough to shower in the morning. You don’t think anyone can tell, but I do. I know all about you. I am bored with you.

You are the Frequent Traveler. You get on with all your bags during morning rush hour and stand right in front of the doors while read the latest John Grisham paperback. Your lips move when you read and you use your Barnes & Noble receipt as your book mark. Your only saving grace is that you don’t dog ear the pages. I would step on your foot, but I am being blocked by your luggage.

You are The Hard Worker. Your hands are dirty, but you are a proud man. You probably work two or three jobs and want to give your kids everything. You try not to stand to close, and you too are annoyed at Mr. Self-Importance. You kindly smile at passengers getting on and off, but try to remain anonymous.

You are Ms. Look at Me and If You Don’t I Will Make Sure You Do. You are much like Mr. Self-Importance, making no room for any other rider and openly irritated should anyone sit or stand next to you. You have an iPod in your pocket, but you are too busy talking loudly on your cell phone disturbing the quiet that we all enjoy on the early morning train ride. You are not important enough to be talking to someone at 7.16 in the am, but you act it. You pretend you are Urban and Street. You are probably from the ‘burbs, or worse, Nebraska. You wear all the latest fashions. You are fake from top to bottom. No one really likes you. The person on the other end of your cell is probably your Mom.

I am the CheekeyMonkey. I am The Ever Observant Train Rider. You don’t notice me. You step on me, even though I am shoved into a corner. You barely look back and you do not apologize. I am CheekeyMonkey, The Ever Observant Train Rider. You don’t see me, but I see you. Be careful who you are, CheekeyMonkey is always watching.

Last night, I am waiting for a bus at State & Jackson. I've got a duffel with me, as I'm returning from a trip. I've been standing in the shelter for about 5 minutes after having come up from the subway, and a man comes into the shelter and sits down on one of the seats. He looks at me and says "Hey man, why you take that 7-day CTA pass out of my pocket over there?" I reply that I haven't been anywhere near him. He says that he saw me do it. I reply that I just came out of the subway. I'm getting a bit nervous, as we're alone at the stop and he's got about four inches and 50 lbs. on me. Then he stands up and shouts "Take you and your f***ing bag and get out of my f***ing shelter!" I, being tired and sick of being harassed, just stand there and glare at him. When it becomes obvious that I'm not going to move, he sticks his finger in my face and yells, "I'll remember your face, yes I will, and DON'T f***ing tell ME what ice cream I can or can't eat NEITHER!"

I've seen a lot of crazy people on the CTA, but the sheer absurdity of that one boggled my mind.

Did the CTA employee give bad directions on the Amazing Race finale?

For the last episode of the "Amazing Race" the contestants had to take a train from O'hare to the Water Tower. The CTA employee at the O'hare blue line stop said to at least 2 of the contestants "get on the howard train to Chicago and walk 2 blocks".

---you can't get on a "howard" train at O'hare. -Shouldn't she have gone into a whole explanation of transferring from the blue line to the red line at Washington. -- or give them the option of taking the bus at the Chicago blue line stop.

Other "amazing" tidbit - the 3 cab drivers that didn't know where Ping Tom Park is....

ever take a good look at those chicago card ads? check out the one with the guy running. he's running with the same arm and same leg forward [as opposed to running with the right leg and left arm forward]. maybe it's because i'm a dancer and apparently more aware of body positioning than the average ad exec, but i found this just hilarious. imagine seeing some guy in a suit with a briefcase, bounding down the escalator like that.

UrbanLenny--I noticed that too. But I think it was just the editing. (Also, the clue said they HAD to take trains or walk--no buses or cabs allowed.)

The one who needs killin' is that American Airlines clerk in Hawaii who screwed up Kris and Jon. ARGH!

The CTA has added a new feature. The "fraud hotline". People can now report fraud they see with the CTA. Hows bout this.....investigate the BOARD...and the upper MANAGEMENT!!! Bet ya find lots of fraud there!!!!

Unfortunately, this story has already been seen on news stations... and reported incorrectly until later tonight.
A lady just jumped. I was standing merely 50 feet from her. The whole thing was surreal, and as of this moment, I don't know if I still fully comprehend what I saw.

I was walking up the escalator to the southbound platform at the Loyola el-stop as I had done hundreds of times before. Class was out at the University and myself and two friends were discussing a recent study/brainstorming session. Thankfully, we had made it to the platform just as the redline was coming down the tracks. I remember my friend exclaiming, "Good, just in time." I begin walking down the platform. I look up to see a woman, probably 40 or 50 years old jump to the tracks from the platform. She falls to her stomach and is immediately struck by the train.

She rolled at first, shot forward by the wheel protectors. And for a split second I thought she might live through her suicide attempt. But then, eventually, despite the best efforts of the train operator she was taken under and run over by the trains wheels. The train operator was badly shaken when she exited the train, and people in the area tried to console her. The only thing anybody could think was the words that the operator kept screaming amidst her sobs, "She just jumped!"

The vision that will stick with me about this event will not be the badly mangled body that I futily jumped down to the tracks to try and help. Instead, it will be the look on the woman's face as she first rolled along the tracks. The split second between when she was hit and when she was severed in half by the trains wheels. She had an expression on her face, it was almost tranquil. She was resigned to her fate and was very much ready to leave this world. Her suicide was both gruesome and disturbing, however if you would have guessed by the expression on her face, she seemed least affected by it. In fact, she never made a single noise during her last moments on earth. It was almost as if she had done this sort of thing before. I only hope that this is the last time I see something such as this. I think the most frustrating part for those in the vicinity was the fact that it happened so fast, nothing could have been done to help until it was too late.

I honestly think the universe or God or whatever sends us strong signals when we should not be out. And while my friend could probably tell this story much better than I, I've got the free time and don't feel like working at the moment.
My friend and I both take the RedLine (by the way, notice how most of these stories are about the Red?) to and from work and try to avoid it during the weekends if possible. One Saturday evening, however, we decided to go see a play together. We had recently been talking about men who use the train as an opportunity to flash their naughty bits to unsuspecting young women, and the subject was still fresh (ew) in our minds. Lo and behold, within 5 minutes of boarding the train, we notice a hooded figure across the aisle . . . wrist in lap shaking rhythmically . . . eyes under the hood aimed lazily in our direction. Because we've been friends long enough to communicate without words, we both looked at each other with the universal "our fucking luck" look. A note to any guy who thinks this might turn women on in the slightest: it doesn't.
We get off the train, encounter a lot of problems before and after the play that unfortunately have nothing to do with the CTA, and then re-board around 10:30. As we are standing (no seats) in a corner, laughing about how completely horrible the evening has been and how we should have stayed home, we are each slapped in the face with the overwhelming scent...of urine. Yes, the down-and-out gentleman sitting near us just relieved himself in his pants. Not that the Red doesn't always reek of some bodily fluid, but it's usually a few days old at least.

I was riding the Red Line north a few weeks ago during evening rush hour. I was in the last car and it was standing room only. Everyone was packed in pretty tight. These three guys enter from the car in front of us and the front guy starts yelling; "We're headed to the back of the car! Anyone that doesn't want they're ass palmed, best get out of our way!" And they start to make their way through the car. The whole time the guy is yelling "Who wants they're ass palmed? I'm palming asses people, so you best move." Needless to say, everyone got out of their way. When they reached the other end, one of the other guys looked at the "Palmer" and laughed "That worked pretty good. We'll have to remember that."

here's my tale from this afternoon:
http://www.fiftyfivehundred.org/391405.html

Yesterday (Sunday, Feb. 13, 2005) I boarded the #47 bus and headed west to the Red Line station. At King Drive, a guy got on and began preaching loudly. He said, "You know, Jesus said it was easier for a camel to pass through the needle of an eye than for a rich man to get into heaven. [Yes, he said needle of an eye, not eye of a needle.] Jesus said all you gots to do to get into Heaven is take all your possessions and throw them out on the street. And that's what the rich man did. Yes, sir!" This other guy turns to him and says, "Hey, man, I got a question for you about Heaven. I wanna know what it's gonna be like!" The Preacher shouted back, "Hey, man, I don' know nothin' about Heaven. You just gotta wait 'til you die, and then you'll find out. I ain't the Pope!"

I saw a very tired looking guy sitting in one of the single, inward facing seats at the back of the car, northbound Red Line at rush hour. He was trying to keep his elbow up on the window ledge to hold his head as he dozed off. As soon as his elbow hit the ledge he did the nod forward immediately falling asleep, and his elbow slipped off the ledge, making his head fall forward and waking him up. Between Clark & Division and Fullerton he repeated this sequence 27 times. Elbow up, fall asleep, elbow slips, wake up. No joke. I counted and was cheering him on in my head.."Come on, one more slip to make it twenty!" He got off at Fullerton and hopefully went straight to bed.

He sits down next to me at Granville, his headphones blaring some punk-rock tune that I can almost identify, but not quite. All of a sudden, the fingers on his right hand are clutched around an invisible guitar pick. He starts pounding out the rhythm guitar part on a Stratocaster only he sees. Pretty soon, the guitar pick morphs into drumsticks...he's playing the solo, complete with double bass drum for his feet and some bitchin' cymbol splashes. That's right...he's the Red Line's one man Air Band!

Several years ago, while on the Red Line, heading south of the Loop on a Sunday morning, we were treated to a crazy preacher guy, spouting hellfire and brimstone Bible-talk to the passengers, but he wasn't getting a reaction.

So, he fired it up again, getting louder and more vehement, but most of the people on board weren't reacting to him. Then, I saw a couple of the passengers doing angry handsign to each other that looked like them saying "What the hell is this guy going on about?"

Turned out the majority of the passengers on that car were deaf -- they all got off at one stop, signing to each other and glaring at the preacher guy as they got off.

Once he realized this, he fell silent and shook his head in disbelief, getting off on the next stop without another word.

I got on the Fullerton bus this morning. There's a lady I've seen before, dressed in a bright orange crossing guard suit. I've never paid much attention to her before but I've seen her in that suit before. Not that I give half a crap what color she is but unfortunately the story goes there so I'll add that she's a middle age African-american lady. She was sitting on the aisle seat by the back door this morning with the window seat empty, next to her. Courtesy dictates that on a crowded bus or train you don't block people from an empty seat or set a bag in the way, right? Anyway, I politely and quietly said "Excuse me, please." She just sits there, glares at me and then bellows, "CAN YOU SPEAK?" (What the??) I don't mind repeating myself, "Can I sit there please?" She suddenly takes on this syrupy tone with me and says "Sure you can" for the whole bus to hear. But when I pass by her she whispers "Racist" in my ear. Can some one explain the f*%&*%ing connection? I saw something like that happen about two years ago- a woman accusing a Puerto Rican woman and her baby son of being racists. I know that's not the point of this site, but I'm fuming. The woman in orange seemed like the racist to me, like she was trying to turn me into one too.

I was on the #10 bus a few summers ago on a weekend. It was fairly full of people, lots of tourists on their way down to the museum of Science & Industry. The bus was very hot and stuffy. A homeless man got on somewhere near Wacker Dr. He was really filthy but he seemed like he was pretty normal mentally, so naturally he was probably self-conscious about his appearance. As he made his way down the aisle in my direction there was this horrible smell, like b.o. and waste times ten. Some people sort of covered their noses when he passed, but I remember this rich couple who actually commented on it out loud, and some teenagers who started laughing after he'd passed them. He passed me and took a seat in the back of the bus. I felt sorry for him, he looked like he really wanted to just be invisible. Then the bus driver put the bus in park, got up, walked down the aisle toward, sort of looked around at everyone , and then said, "I don't smell nothing." and went back up and continued down the street. It was really touching, but also made me feel a little ashamed.

I guess these stories fall into the category of inappropriate dress of the desired kind.

1) On the Fullerton bus Eastbound last summer a 20's something latin woman sits down next to me in a bikini.
A very loose bikini. She decides that this is the perfect time to add sunscreen. No she does not ask me to put it on her, but neither does she bother to stop at her bikini top when rubbing in the sunscreen. Nor her bottom. To make it clear. Nothing was left to my imagination. Nothing. Unfortunately, I had to get off a few stops before reaching the beach or risk losing my job due to a very important meeting. She looked very disappointed. Not as disappointed as me.

2) Fireworks night a few years ago. I am doing volunteer work helping to load buses downtown after the fireworks. It is a hot night and people are scantily clad and drunk. The fireworks are hot. The girls are hotter. Just after the show ends it starts to drizzle and rain. As might be expected, this adds some light hearted jostling to the crowds trying to get back on the buses. It is also quite, er scenic, for all concerned due to the unexpected rain. About 15% of the girls might as well have gone without any top at all. Then the bus air conditioning kicked in adding to the show.

In general, it is a good idea to have an extra layer of clothes with you when riding CTA just for this reason, even in the dog days of July and August. Unless you want to show.

3) Some years ago I was riding the green line. I am single and start flirting with a young girl my age or thereabouts. She is from out of town. She is wearing jeans and a jeans jacket but at some point I realize that her buttons have gradually become loosened and that she is wearing nothing under the jacket. In only a few stations she is down to one button and is inviting me to get off at the Northwest passage to enjoy the scenery. Since the view was already terriffic...... Of course I got off, what do you think I am, an idiot?

4) We used to call the Archer Bus the Love Express. As the year went on you used to see all the young girls start to sprout diamond engagement rings. At the time I was too young to do any asking, but I always remembered that with fondness. I wonder why more guys don't realize how many more single women than men ride CTA and that certain routes are just crammed with elegible, nice, funny, attractive, intelligent, single women? All of whom ARE appropriatley dressed. Nuts. LOL

This morning I boarded the inbound Blue Line at California and unwittingly sat next to two Loud Out-of-Town Businessmen (apparently they were at a lull in their conversation). You know the type--they try to cover their apprehension about riding the train from O'Hare by talking and joking loudly, usually trying to impress us with their knowledge about the city. After one LOB finished his shouted cell-phone coversation with a colleague who had already reached the hotel, LOB #2 struck up this conversation:

LOB #2: Our office is switching shipping services to DHL.
LOB#1: Yeah, DHL has been trying really hard to get business. Weren't they one of the official sponsors of the Olympics? I'm a FedEx man.
LOB #2: I'm a UPS guy, myself.

They then proceeded to discuss the various merits of the opposing shipping companies. Remember, this conversation is going at full LOB volume. In vain I tried to ignore them and read my book.

LOB #1 (after a glance around the car): Man, I don't know how people can read on the train.

Touche.

I owe the CTA a nice big thank you. I am one of those people who was always too afraid to drive in Chicago. "What if I hit a child, or an animal?" I worked at Public Aid's Metro-West GA office on north Sacramento, and always caught a lift from a friend at work to the Homan street bus stop. I was standing at the bus stop one day around 4 p.m., in a crowd of other people. I was the only white person there, and female... when a young black man approaches, puts a gun to my head and demands my money. I had $5 on me, which I quickly handed to him. Everyone standing there watching this happening as passively as if they were watching a television show. The nice young man, then totally pissed because I only had $5, demands, "give me your ring too!" I tell him, "this is my wedding ring!" Taking his gun, he shoves it hard in the little space between my chin and my throat, he swears at me, "YOU @UCKING WHITE BITCH! I SAID GIVE ME YOUR RING!!" Of course, being the type of person who thinks critically on the fly... I hand the nice young black man my wedding ring. All of this going on with people standing right next to me... all of them watching. The very nice young black man then takes off down the street, after the bus starts to pull in at the stop. At that point I thought someone would give me a little assistance in getting help... maybe the bus driver? But noooooooooooooooooooo! There were three black women, and they say, "what are you doing in this neighborhood?", "are you so surprised that you were robbed?" "You should be glad you didn't get dead!" Like it was MY fault? The bus driver, after I explained to him what had happened, and being black as well, (must be a secret society there?)... says to me "what do you want from me?" At this point I gave up, rode the bus until I seen some "friendly" white faces... got off, and had a store owner telephone the police.

I learned... 1) never to be the only white person in the day time waiting for a bus (you'll get robbed or dead), and 2) learn to drive. I had my driver's license in my pocket two weeks later to the day. Thank you CTA!

Lori,

That is such a shameful story. I would of helped you by at least calling the police, calming you down and providing a description of the as*hole who robbed you. I can't believe no one did anything to help.

Amazing...

Lori--that sucks. I'm sure you were too rattled, but you probably could have gotten that driver in some serious sh*t if you'd taken down his badge number and told this story to the CTA.

As for the women who took it upon themselves to talk sh*t to you after you'd just been robbed...well, what goes around comes around, and maybe one day THEY will be in a situation where they need help. Assholes come in all colors, unfortunately.

(I live in that neighborhood, actually, but a little south--I am also often the only white person waiting for a bus. Makes you think.)

In case of emergency, always make out...literally.

So myself, my girlfriend, her brother, and our friend rode the green line to Oak Park from the auto show on 19 February. I was sitting there beside my girlfriend, when these three "elitist snobs" sat kitty corner from us. Apparently, two of them were staring directly at us, and we felt really uncomfortable. Apparently, she didn't like the look of a African-American guy, in all black, with black tinted glasses, sitting next to a brunette, caucasian woman.

Afetr 2 stops, they continue to look at us, and all my girlfriend and I could do was talk behind their backs of how scary they were looking. We were giggling, talking with British Accents, anything to get them to stop looking at us.

All of a sudden, my girlfriend turned to my face and started to kiss me while the blondes turned away in disgust. The kiss lasted from Central all the way to Oak Park, when all of a sudden, they left, obviously irritated....

...and the both of us couldn't control our laughter as we sat there and felt satisfied we won that battle (and we both suck at stare-downs)

More of a confession. Somehow I ended up in the parking garage adjecent to the Fullerton Red Line stop after a night of drinking. Having to relieve myself, I found what I thought was a night quiet corner and began doing my business. Then I looked more carefully at my surroundings, only to see that I was directly level with the Fullerton platform full of people, separated only by a chain link fence. And I couldn't stop, because as you probably know, it burns when you stop...

This story is much less amusing than scary. On a recent Saturday night at about 9:15 pm my boyfriend and I boarded the Green line at Adams/Wabash to travel to 35th/Bronzeville. We were sitting in the two seats next to the door and there was a group of teenagers messing around loudly in the corner. As we approached the Roosevelt stop 2 of them walked up to the door like they were getting off the train. Just before the doors opened, one of them turned around to my boyfreind and without saying a word punched him four times on the side of the face. Then they turned and ran off the train at the Roosevelt stop. They did not try to take anything and did not say anything to us, as we did not say anything to them. It was totally ramdom and unprovoked. It happened so fast we didn't have time to react. There were other people on the train at the time and there were even people boarding as the incident took place. No one did or said anything during or after it happened, not even to ask if we were ok. When we got off at Bronzeville we alerted the proper authorities and went to the emergeny room. Thankfully he was fine, just a little bruised. It was very scary and incredibly strange. I will probably be staying away from the trains for a little while. I hope all your travels are safer!

A WireLESS conversation on the Red Line yesterday evening, 4 Feb 2005.

At about 7:30pm I board the Red Line at Grand heading North to Loyola. At Chicago, a neatly dressed gent boards and stands in the vestibule chatting briskly with, I assumed to be a smaller shorter person of whom he's blocking my view (He's facing forward with his back against the glass partition).

As the train squeels around the corner towards Clark/Division he's nearly yelling at the top of his lungs "WHAT?! I CAN'T HEAR YOU! HANG ON A SEC! HUH?!". I'm wondering why he doesn't lean toward his assumed companion -- I mean yammering nut-bags really don't ride the train. Really.

Anyway, he loses his balance a little and shifts to face outward. No companion. Nobody. Upon further examination he's yelling into a cell phone's hands-free headset. I nearly roared in laughter. One, there's no cellular service in the subway -- yet, and two, the cord to the headset was dangling and not plugged in.

Mid-February, 1 AM, blue line from Logan Square to Cumberland. Train is full of businesspeople-types despite the late hour. A couple stops into my trip, a gaggle of very early twenty-somethings gets on the train, clearly shitfaced. I think it was two guys and four girls. Immediately, one of the guys starts shouting "GIVE ME ONE OF THOSE FUCKING COORS LIGHTS!" His friends aren't so sure that you can drink on the train (a fact repeated over and over in the SHRILLEST VOICE I HAVE EVER HEARD by one of the girls. The thirsty boy isn't having it. "FUCK THAT, CRACK ME OPEN ONE OF THOSE FUCKING COORS LIGHTS!!" He then decides to take a poll of the other passengers, asking everyone if he/she thinks he should crack open one of those fucking Coors Lights. About 15 minutes into the trip, Ms. Shrill spies the "no eating/drinking" sign and attempts to read it aloud. The conversation veers from imitations of pornographic .wav files from the Internet to their favorite ways that they've offended their parents. One of the guys gleefully shouts that when was 14, he told his mom to "go fuck [her]self," and his dad was so impressed that he rewarded the son with a beer. This obscene bullshit continued until I got off at Cumberland; the goon squad was riding to Rosemont, I believe. One very angry passenger mumbled under her breath the whole time "fucking drunks!" and even tried to escape by running to another car at one stop, but she gave up and ran back into our car, shaking her head in disgust.

I have a pleasant CTA employee story to tell. Monday morning I was getting on the Irving Park Blue line stop as usual, riding the escalator, walking to the completely opposite end of the platform. After stopping I felt a tap on my arm. Looking around I see the CTA guy with my glove that I had dropped by the turnstile! I couldn't believe he followed me all that way just to give me my glove. Sometimes people are nice.

the Irving platform..
I recall one time last winter I was headed downtown, waiting for the blue line train at the Irving stop. I was standing and listening to headphones as I waited. Every now and then I would hear the anouncement that a customer needs assistance. I was a little confused. then I turn around notice I was leaning against the pole that had the customer service button on it. I felt salty...
just as soon as I noticed that, I see the CTA worker walk up. I inform him it was my fault for making him come all the way up there, but he didn't seem to mad. probably had to give someone their glove at the other end of the platform. nice guy

Although I have smelled urine before in CTA stations, today was the first time that I actually saw someone in flagrante micturato.

I exited the southbound Red Line at the Washington station at around 9:45 AM. That's in the morning, mind you. As I walked towards the stairwell, I saw a man who was standing suspiciously close to a wall, not really all that far away from where the northbound train's first car would stop. He was urinating on the floor near the wall. There was actually a risk that someone would be splashed.

What the heck happend on RED/BROWN/PURPLE this afternoon during rush hour?
I thought I overheard from a CTA employee at CLARK/LAKE that someone jumped the tracks again. However, with the budget cuts and judge story no word on the news or on the news websites. They were pretty good about getting brown up and running again though I have to say, between Belmont and Southport alone four brown lines passed us going towards the loop..... (Doesn't really make up for the fact that I was late for work this morning though because the CTA can't seem to figure out that the ROOSEVELT bus Westbound is as popular as eastbound and needs more busses as well!

Last summer I was riding the green line between Austin and Clark and Lake, facing the hobo end of the car. Two white trash boys get on and go into the hobo car.
They are whispering and their eyes dart back and forth.
Whatever they were doing looked enough like snorting cocaine to prompt me to move very quickly.

These both happened earlier in the year, Novemberish--The dead time of year where it's horribly dark at like 4:00

I had to take a class at Kendall College (at Halsted and Chicago). So, I was on the Halstead street bus going from Halsted and North to Chicago. As we went through the "whites" of Cabrini Green, some guy, who was disabled and only had partial arms and hands, got on the bus with an old, nasty, rusty, sharp......AX! Sure, his arms were disabled, but does this allow him to carry an AX on CTA vehicles at 5:15 on a Monday? In the year of heightend security when we are told to alert the cta of "suspicious activity" I was astonished that the driver let someone on with an ax, then again, it's the CTA.

Later in the semester at about 9:00 I was waiting for the redline at North and Clybourne to go back home, and suddenly a very shady looking woman appeared, proceeded to go to the broken phone booth and snort a line of coke.

And that's what you get folks for riding the cta.

Last year on the 151 southbound, around Argyle, the driver stopped and lowered the wheelchair lift. Did a wheelchair person use the lift?
Of course not! Shame on you for thinking logically!
It was a woman with a stolen Osco grocery cart. A full size one. Full of junk.
I was flabbergasted! I've seen some weird stuff on the CTA, but this was a new one.
The woman didn't even raise up the seat to move her cart out of the way.
She got off after a couple of miles. I called the CTA to report it and I was assured that this was definetely against the rules. I said, just check the video if the cameras were recording it. I gave the run # and the driver's # to them. I've never seen this again.

Not a story, but a link from ERic Zorn's weblog...

http://www.gapersblock.com/detour/a_cta_map_for_2055/

I got a giggle and thought it worth sharing with other Tattler readers.

St. Patrick's Day Ride

At around 5:00pm Sunday, March 13, 2005 I boarded at Grand heading for Loyola (as I always do.). Each and every car was packed. As people squished into the car, the PA crackled and operator announced the next stop was Chicago and the next stop was going to be Belmont as we were going to go express.

At Chicago, she announced again that the train will run express to Belmont and proceeded to say "Ladies and gents, you on the roller coaster ride we like to call the Red Line to Howard. This trian be going at high speeds for most of this trip. The doors are closing so HOLD ON KIDS BECAUSE WE OUTTA HERE!!"

She even apologised for some of the hard breaking and jarring jerks of the train.

Gotta love the operators with a sence of humor.

Most days I feel pretty lucky that I'm a Northwest line Metra commuter, and not subjected to the ickyness of the el trains. However, this morning was unusual. A clean-cut gentleman in his late 30s or early 40s sat down next to me, and began to eat his breakfast. While eating on Metra is pretty commonplace, it was really odd when he offered me part of his hard-boiled egg. I don't know which bothered me more...sitting next to this freak-show for the next twenty minutes, or listening to the Japanese guy with bad breath behind me scream into his cell phone the entire ride.