« Pigeon attacks Purple Line! | Main | Did you short-sheet him too? »

Cellular mail call

Cell phone call heard on the Red Line, by a tall woman in her mid-20s:

"Did I get any mail today?

"Um... can you open it? .... Well, maybe today if it is what I hope it is.

"Can you just open it, please? .... OK, tell me what it says?

"Ugh!!! Maybe I'll be over later."

Click Comments below with theories on what she was looking for in the mail and who the other party was.

Comments

Didn't get into med/law school?

The voice on the other end: semi-ex-boyfriend with whom she used to live til just recently, who still lives at the address where some of her mail goes.

The mail: a check she was waiting for (but didn't get--and so now she has no reason to actually go over there and deal with him til "later, maybe").

Bar exam results are also set to come out soon. As I remember it, the group that administers the test sends a letter a little before the results that set my heart racing. I say she was on the phone to her folks, and had her bar results sent there, since she just got out of school and moved in the time between registering for the exam and getting the results.

First, I had the benefit of actually seeing the woman and hearing the conversation. But here's my theory:

She was talking to an ex-roommate at the place she just moved out of. She owes that roommate money for the phone or rent or whatever. That explains why she says: "Well maybe today if it is what I hope it is." That is, she would pay her today if it was a check (from Daddy?).

It was a freeze-dried pizza from her favorite New York pizzeria, flown in by airmail. But they got the order wrong and sent her pineapple and garlic instead of mushroom and sausage. Isn't this obvious?

A letter from the attorney for her recently deceased grandma's estate informing her that all her inheritance amounts to is a 1972 Dodge Dart.

Other party: The man she once loved, who hooked her on sweepstakes several years back. Now, she just loves the sweeps, but not the man, and she's been sleeping nights in her office.

What she was calling about: one of those mysterious brownish envelopes with fake computer-generated handwriting had arrived. She hoped it was a sweepstakes winner notification, but it was just another offer to try out a timeshare.

Bob, that's impossible. Every pizza lover knows the best pizza in the world comes from right here in Chicago.

Post a comment

Comments are moderated, and will not appear on this weblog until the author has approved them.

If you have a TypeKey or TypePad account, please Sign In.

TrackBack

TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.typepad.com/services/trackback/6a00d83451c39e69e200e55052819d8833

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Cellular mail call:

Share news tips

Elsewhere