CTA Tattler

Round 1 to Satan

Seen on the Red Line heading north during the evening rush:

A well-dressed woman reads the Book of Corinthians with great hostility from her well-worn Bible, practically screaming at the top of her lungs (think Jules from Pulp Fiction).

Finally, a young woman gets up and screams, "Stop it! Are you on drugs?! You're hurting my ear."

Ms Evangelista dismisses her: "Don't bother me while I'm doing my job. I don't bother you while you do your job."

By now, other people are yelling at her as they leave the train. She waves them off with her hand: "Get off Satan, get off."

At this, a guy in front of my work buddy Bob turns around and tells him:

"I'm converting to Satanism."

Click Comments below to share your own brushes with a "Higher power."

Drugs or pills?

Overheard conversation between two unseen people on a crowded Red Line train, riding from Fullerton and Belmont:

Him: "I have terrible headache."

Her: "Want some Tylenol?"

Him: "No, no -- I never take pills!"

Her:

Him: "No way! Those are DRUGS! Not PILLS!"

Did you short-sheet him too?

Cell phone call heard on the Red Line around Granville, by a guy in his late 30s or early 40s:

"So he told me, 'Shit, you were taking up two-thirds of the bed.'

"And I said, 'I was not taking up two-thirds of the bed!

'My dog was.' "

Cellular mail call

Cell phone call heard on the Red Line, by a tall woman in her mid-20s:

"Did I get any mail today?

"Um... can you open it? .... Well, maybe today if it is what I hope it is.

"Can you just open it, please? .... OK, tell me what it says?

"Ugh!!! Maybe I'll be over later."

Click Comments below with theories on what she was looking for in the mail and who the other party was.

Pigeon attacks Purple Line!

Among the bored passengers boarding the Purple Line at Belmont Tuesday afternoon was a pigeon.

It waddled (not flew) aboard like a seasoned commuter. Before you knew it, the doors closed tightly and and we were in a scene from Hitchcock's "The Birds."

Except it was the bird who was scared shitless.

All the passengers were just giggling, "Ohh, it's a pigeon, hee hee!"

Meanwhile that bird did not like the break-neck speed the motorman drove from Wilson to Howard. Not one bit. Surprisingly, the pigeon only actually took flight once, and only very briefly and for a short distance.

By the time we reached Howard, birdie was obviously distressed and we gave him wide berth to be the first to exit the car.

I guess he wasn't going on to Davis.

Fair warning to all terrorists

The CTA and Chicago Police are doing their part for the war on terror by conducting security sweeps on certain train lines going into the Loop.

They are looking for suspicious bags, packages and people. And being very accommodating in explaining exactly what they are doing.

As a work friend reports: "The CTA helpfully announced this to commuters a few stops before we reached the Merchandise Mart [where the sweeps were conducted], to explain the delays we were experiencing. So I, along with hundreds of other potential terrorists, of course got off the train at Chicago Avenue.

"Your homeland security dollars at work...."

Beware of "sleeping dangerously"

The Tribune's John Kass reported (reg. req.) last week about a tired Orange Line who got a $50 ticket for sleeping on the train.

A CTA spokesperson, after initially being unable to explain the ticket, finally found a rule "that was written with the intent of protecting customers. It includes activities like passing between rail cars, smoking, indecent exposure," said Robyn Ziegler.

Sleeping or dozing "where such activity may be hazardous to such persons or others, or where such activity may interfere with the operation of the CTA" is illegal, she said.

The spin the next day turned to "interfering with the operation of the CTA." A police spokesman noted that the perpetrator had his legs sprawled in the aisle.

So watch it, all you CTA sleepers. Dads and sons too!

Lizard woman

Spotted on the Red Line, heading south from Howard:

A tall, pretty blonde, somewhat scantily clad, with a large, complacent lizard nestled between her breasts.

Kiser lives on in print and tributes

Patrick Berry, aka Kiser the tagger, got star treatment today on Page 1 of the Chicago Tribune. Unfortunately, he wasn't around to enjoy the attention showered on his often-illegal artwork.

He died early Aug. 16 when he was hit by a CTA train north of Morse Avenue. His accidental death rocked the Chicago tagger community, and prompted many comments on this blog by his friends and comrades, and regular visitor Gladys.

The Trib's Eric Zorn blogged today that the talk radio crowd was buzzin' today -- railing against the Trib for printing the story on Page 1, if at all.

Again, I just find it interesting that the guy and his art gets prime time coverage after he's gone. And I'm sure we'll be seeing more graffiti tributes to Kizer popping up at El-level view and above, like the one pictured here by B-Boy B.

How appetizing!

Two young women on the Red Line north of Fullerton. One calls their mutual friend. It was the typical "we're almost there.... See you in a bit.... "

The caller flips the phone shut and tells her friend, "She says she has a surprise for us and she's in a good mood."

Her friend blurts out: "I hope it's food. It's not a dog, right?"