CTA Tattler

Only 162 days till Opening Day

On the Red Line home last night, I noticed a guy studiously poring over the Sports section of the Tribune. That's no so unusual, I suppose. I've done it myself.

But this fellow was closely studying the Cubs schedule for 2005. And the 2004 World Series wasn't over, at least not at that time.

The woman next to him was remarking on his studious behavior. He explained to her that he was counting the number of games against St. Louis, and which ones he was planning to attend.

We just can't get away from those hapless Cubs fans, clogging the trains with their pointless dreams.

Fake fight worries train car

Four teen-agers board the Red Line at Sheridan going north. They appear to be coming from Lakeview High School after school.

They are loud and obnoxious, like many high-schoolers; two boys and two girls. By Granville the sustained hum peaked to a real roar as one of the girls literally got in a boy's face: "I'm gonna kick your f***ing ass, you piece of s**t!"

"Bring it on bitch, you ain't got nothin!"

All passengers on the car craned their necks to see the action near the "hobo car." I was about to summon the motorman on the call button, as it appeared the war of words was ready to tumble into the aisle.

Then all four of them burst out laughing. "Ah man, we had them goin', didn't we! Sheeeeeet!"

Yeah, uh huh. You had us going.

No-Pants Day on N.Y.C. subway

In further celebration of the centennial of the New York subway system, today I'm sharing the results of "No Pants! 2k4" in the Big Apple.

"Agents" with Improv Everywhere have been acting out and documenting a No-Pants Day on the subway for a few years now.

Here's the basic gig:

"The 10 of us met at Union Square and rode the 4 train down to the Brooklyn Bridge stop. Once there we waited for the 6 train in silence, giving no indication that we knew each other. We got on the middle two cars of one of the older 6 trains (there are no windows between these cars). Agents Rosenbaum and Meyer entered car "B" and the rest of us entered car "A". Rosenbaum hid his DV camcorder in his lap under a magazine and began filming.

"The mission worked like this, each time the train started moving a new IE Agent would take off his pants and throw them at Agent Cassis (pretending not to know her), and she would place them in a duffel bag. When the train stopped, the agent would exit car "A", walk down the platform, and enter car "B" (the hidden camera car). Agent Meyer was stationed in car "B" to hold the door open in case an agent needed more time. We did not want anyone to be stranded pantless on a subway platform. Once in the car "B", we would act completely normal, and if asked, we would insist that we did not know the other pantless riders, and that we simply forgot to wear pants."

Gladys, Margaret, Steve .... shall we bring it to Chicago? Who else wants to join in?

Rant on bus drivers as public servants

Gladys shares another tale via the Comments section that I want to make sure you all see

"Been meaning to post this one for a while: has anyone else seen the real-estate sign on the west side of Western Avenue, a little south of Irving Park, on which someone chalked the following:

"BUS DRIVERS ARE PUBLIC SERVANTS, NOT CAPTAINS OF THEIR OWN SHIP"

"I'm thinking a bus either threw someone off or blew by someone...makes me giggle every time I pass. (That, and the guy just north of Lawrence who sits on the hydrant with pigeons perching on his lap, shoulders and arms...)"

Thanks for the contribution, Gladys. BTW, there's a picture of the pigeon guy in last week's Chicago Reader.

New York celebrates subway centennial

This year New York City celebrates the 100th anniversary of its massive subway system. While there has been some form of rapid transit in Chicago since the 1890s, the first Chicago subway wasn't built until the 1940s.

Tribune reporter Stevenson Swanson wrote about the New York subway's centennial yesterday. It truly is a fascinating story.

Here are just two interesting factoids:

** The New York system carries 4.5 million passengers a day.

*** There are 722 miles of subway and elevated track, the largest in the world.

Whither the alcohol tableau?

I wrote last month about one of my favorite El-level views -- the alcohol laden table in a second floor window facing the tracks where the southbound Red Line stops south of Addison to wait for signals to change.

Five bottles of various kinds of hard liquor stood sentry on the table, their owner knowing how they might tempt or disgust El riders.

Now they are gone.

I first noticed they had gone missing last week, and hoped the owner had just gone on a binge. But it's been more than a week, and I'm concerned.

The good news is the bottles are totally missing, not turned upside down and strewn across the table and room.

More ideas on annoying cellers

For those of you who don't necessarily read comments left here, I wanted to highlight some a couple cogent thoughts by readers about yesterday's "Why those CTA cell talkers are annoying" posting.

Our pal Gladys helpfully suggests leaving cards to remind people of their breaches of etiquette.

Meanwhile, Kathryn suggests CTA segregation -- giving cellers their own car and letting them shout it out with each other.

Keep those great ideas coming, guys!

Why those CTA cell talkers are annoying

The Sun-Times yesterday reported that researchers found cell phone talkers are trains and buses are annoying because we don't hear the other side of the conversation. (Why didn't I think of doing such research for a living?)

Lucio Guerrero reports that "researchers found cell phone use in public is more annoying than just two people talking because your brain can't help but listen. So whether you want to or not, you are forced to eavesdrop."

OK, so I'm guilty.

Read more about the study here from nature.com. It mentions that " 'cell yell' may be due to the fact that phone users don't get any feedback to tell them their voice is too loud."

Do you think we should start shushing cellers?

Empty seat goes begging

We've all stepped into the train or bus to see one empty seat in an almost-empty vicinity.

The CTA veterans among us know to avoid it.

This morning that empty seat was next to a 60-ish, small man who was constantly cackling. There was a bit of meaningless mutterings thrown in but it was mostly uproarious laughter. That's it. Totally harmless.

It's great to have fun on the CTA.

Dueling makeup artists

We've all seen women applying makeup on trains and buses, and at least one man polishing his blue nails.

Today I saw a cooperative effort. As one woman was busily applying her rouge, another directly across the aisle was finishing up with lipstick and had applied just a bit too much. So she leaned across the aisle to her makeup partner and meekly asked, "Do you have any tissue?"

Her cosmetology compadre dugged around in her purse and willingly obliged.