Tell us your crazy commuting tales

If you ride public transportation on a regular basis, you have a story.

A story about that crazy lady yelling Bible verses. About the sleeping guy who smells like he hadn't taken a bath in weeks. About the rude ticket agent. About the woman fighting with her boy friend on the cell phone.

And we all want to hear them.

Click on "Comments" below this post (or scroll down below the last comment) and tell us your story. I'll make separate posts of the good ones.

Comments

[deli-cut]

I was coming out of the Washington red line station on Sunday when I saw something odd on the stairs. It was an old, white baseball cap with a ratty, blond hair extension attached to it. The piece of hair still had two plastic barrettes in it.

[Wendy]

Here's the response I received after writing an angy email to the CTA...they said that they only received a few dozen complaints about Monday night. C'mon, instead of complaining on this blog, write the CTA...see email exchange:
from Me:
"All the CTA needs to do is:

1. tell their lazy kiosk attendants to pick up the PA and ANNOUNCE when there is a delay!
2. Actually communicate to the lazy kiosk attendants that there is a delay!!!!!

You people are infuriating me with your passive, careless attitude. The CTA affects people's lives and productivity. If I had a choice I would NEVER take the CTA.... went to the Washington Red Line stop shortly before 5pm, paid my fare, walked past the person in the Kiosk, who said NOTHING to me as I passed through the turnstiles, went downstairs and alas, there were no people on the platform.

I came back up, asked the woman in the yellow vest what was going on, and she said that the red line wasn't running underground.

That would have been nice to hear BEFORE I paid my fare and walked down to the platform. She SAW ME walk past her!"

CTA response: "Thank you for the added information. We agree that you should have been advised of the service interruption and evacuation, though the fact that you were allowed into the subway suggests it may have been after the police finished their search and determined it was safe, possibly right after. The attendant also would have had no way of knowing when train service was going to resume, because none of us knew--we were all waiting for the police to allow the trains back into the subway and we had no advance notice until we actually received the all-clear.

But your point is well taken and we cannot argue with it. If we knew who the person in the kiosk was, we would look into it and perhaps take disciplinary action, though the first step would be determining if it was our own employee or a security guard. If you could describe the woman any further, we would make this effort because everyone at the affected stations--CTA employees and security guards alike--were under instructions to assist our customers in any way possible. I hope you can help us positively identify the person in question. In the meantime, we certainly apologize. ....Actually we've only received a couple dozen complaints, but we are taking each and every one of them very, very seriously."

[Tim]

ONLY a couple dozen complaints?

[cmama]

One thing: I hate it when they put new drivers on bus routes. This morning I caught the 86 bus to the Green Line. There were about 10 people on the bus and 90 time out of 100 nobody rings the bell for stop by the train, but the driver always know to stop. Normally when the bus gets to the Green line, it turns on lake street (one block away from the train entrance), stops to let people exit, then goes down a block and sits before it's time to make the trip northbound. This morning the bus driver made the turn on to lake street, doesn't stop and keeps going to it's resting place (outside a Dominick's). What was this bus driver thinking all these semi-casual people were going off to do at 8am? Maybe grocery shopping for the week? Pull a double shift at the gas station? So we sat there thinking he was going to make his trip northbound and take us to the front of the train station, but he said he was sitting there for a while. Instead of us walking that half block to the station, we had to walk an extra 2 blocks (and we saw our train pass as we got closer to the station). Lesson learned: Always signal to the driver for your exit because how is a driver to know that somebody might want to get off even if he has a bus load of passengers pulling up to a train stop.

[Thomas]

Not really a crazy story, but a large group of tourists were in the last car coming from O'Hare and when we got to Belmont, they all got off of the train clutching maps, bags, etc., exclaiming to all the others in their group that they were downtown! I guess they thought that subway = downtown...

[Lybaby]

As if getting home last night on the 6 wasn't harrowing enough with Lollapalooza and our driver getting turned around, all of the passengers on the south bound bus had the pleasure of five novice trixie wannabees to make the commute oh so extra special.

I will cotton to a few things, I had just got off of work and being in my 30's gives me the hindsight of just how extraordinarily lucky I was to make it through my twenties. In short I realize that I was (and probably continue to be) a braying jackass. Nonetheless, the ladies violated all sorts of CTA etiquette and basic common courtesy. Instead of some long-winded diatribe, let me just tell you what not to do when riding the six.

1. Wear good running shoes. The six is always behind schedule---even for the CTA. If you live on the line you know this and adjust either your schedule or foot attire. Don't wear the trixie uniform of jeans and heels, flag the bus down and take you sweet time getting there because your feet hurt from your foot attire. It pisses people off and makes a long commute even longer.

2. Have the appropriate fare ready. The ladies did not have the correct fare and after all of the flak that countless drivers have given riders who are a dime or two short, five girls rode for free. I should have got his employee number and reported his ass.

3. And I can't stress this enough---SIT DOWN! DON'T BLOCK THE WAY! Since the girls couldn't sit together in a gaggle, they all stood at the entrance of the bus hindering other commuter's entrance and exit. Lord forbid they would have to sit next to someone they didn't know. Be a little less self absorbed and think about the others who are riding the bus as well.

4. SHUT THE F**K UP! No one wanted to hear about some friggin come dressed as your favorite celebrity party hosted by some U of C folks. As with most late night bus lines, there are working folk that perhaps get only a few minutes of peace during the day. Must your trite banter take up a considerable amount of their quiet time on the bus?

Seeing that they got off of the bus after 11:00 PM and the 6 stops running around 1:00 AM, I wonder if they made the last bus? I'd love to see that crew coming back a tad tipsy on the red line at 2 or 3 in the morning. Now THAT would be interesting.

[P. Lorry]

Anybody have any idea what happened on the brown line this morning? We stopped at the Merch Mart and police went running past the open train doors yelling "Somebody's down.". I went to one of the back cars to see what was happening, but all I could see was a girl sitting on the train floor talking to the police.
Did she hurt herself, or witness something?

[Kevin]

The delay on Brown Line around 8:45 a.m. this morning was due to a female passenger who fainted on an inbound train as it pulled into the Merchandise Mart. She was assisted by several fellow passengers, Chicago police and paramedics and she is currently doing fine, I'm told.

Fellow passengers, people do get sick and cause trains to be delayed. We can just be thankful she's OK and that it didn't happen to us.

[e-wannabe]

How selfish of anyone to get sick and delay my train! They just wanted attention at my expense. That's all it is.

[rexblade]

I happen to be one of those oddly dressed people riding the trains. Usually, I pay no mind to the whispers and wierd looks I get, but there was one particular reaction that caught me completely off guard.

On this day, I happened to be riding the red line, stretched out across the two seats in front of hobo corner, wearing shiny black and red nylon rave pants, a black t-shirt with a white image of a comic book character who was holding two daggers(known as johnny the homicidal maniac), and a black floor-length trench coat, all topped with a black, green and grey 3-pronged felt jesters cap that had a black mask that covered the eyes (something close to the hat shown here: http://www.mentalgear.com/f3585_tri_jester.asp ) - a rather odd sight, I would assume.
Shortly after the whispers and stares subsided, an obviously mentally disturbed man stumbled in through the emergency doors at the other end of the car. Without provocation, the man began to point and laugh hysterically at every commuter on the his end of the car, as if they were all in their most undignified undergarments. As he made his way toward my end of the car, I braced myself for what would no doubt be a good 10 minutes of ridicule and harrassment from the man. Yet, to my surprise, when he turned around and faced me, he fell completely silent. He gave me a serious, almost cold stare, nodded respectfully at me, then calmly turned away. He then resumed his point and laugh routine, starting with the man in a 3-peice suit opposite me, then ran off the train. I was completely dumbfounded. I really wasn't sure whether I should have been flattered or insulted!

[Matt]

Not expecting rain last night, I left my umbrella at home when I went to work in the morning. Of course, right at 5:00 when I was leaving work and walking 2 blocks to the train, it started pouring. By the time I entered the subway, I was soaked and my magazine was a soggy mess. Even though there were seats available on the train, I decided to stand, figuring I would soak the person sitting next to me.

I'm sure I was quite the sight! I was standing there, glasses foggy, clothes literally dripping water into little puddles around my feet and trying to read my magazine which was all smudgy.

I guess it's good to have humbling experiences. I just wish I didn't have them so often!

[Cheryl]

Matt, I had an umbrella and I still got soaked.

[sylvester]

Alright, this is an honest query, so I ask that anyone reading not form any opinions as to my intent before reading through it.

While commuting downtown from the northside over the past several years I've noticed something that I can't account for.

What I've noticed is that 8 or 9 out of 10 riders from the northside walk up the escalators, while 8 or 9 riders out of 10 from the southside stand on the escalators.

Now I assure you, I'm not chalking this difference up to race, class or anything else.

What I've also noticed is that when I get to the building that my office is in, almost everyone stands on the escalators. Similarly, most people stand on the escalators at department stores and just about everywhere else. In these locations, I'm sure you'll have people from the north and south sides, along with your usual suburbanites and tourists, yet virtually everyone stands. I being someone that likes to get to where I want to go ASAP am constantly annoyed by this clogging of the escalators.

Anyway, the question seems to boil down to whether or not people are in a hurry to get out of the subway specifically. Do northsiders tend to feel claustrophobic or uncomfortable in the subway, so they rush upstairs as soon as possible? Do southsiders tend not to feel particularly uncomfortable in the subway, and so are in no hurry?

It's just something I've wondered about since I've noticed this happen consistently everyday for 5+ years.

[Lybaby]

Oh the comments from the above post ought to be priceless. Let the pissing and moaning begin!

[patrick]

I always try to walk up...it's like a free stair master and I can get a bit more exercise before spending my day with ass planted in my ergonomically designed office chair. The "standers" I've noticed do tend to be overweight and/or older.

[jg]

I used to stand still... until I heard Seinfeld's bit on the people movers at the airports. He's got a point, it's not a ride.

[BillK]

I haven't conducted any real surveillance, but I have a hunch that the escalator riders are the same people who saunter down the wrong side of the sidewalk during peak traffic times, oblivious to right-thinking people twisting and turning in an effort to avoid running into them. A few simple, universal rules beginning today: Walk on the right on the sidewalk, Stand to the right on the escalator, Pass on the left in both situations. Got it? Good.

[LadyDay]

I frequent the Chicago redline subway stop and I find it amusing how immediately after exiting the train people will wait while everyone in front of them rush and crowd to use the escalator while the stairs are empty. By the time they even set foot on the escalator they could have been at the top of the stairs. Lazy much? I think so!

[LadyDay]

About two weeks ago I was on the NB redline. Across from me is a guy sitting across from me grinning ear to ear at nothing...or something I don't know. Then all of the sudden she screams out "Purple!!!!" and then laughs hysterically. He did this every couple minutes from Chicago to Wilson where he got off.

[rexblade]

Somehow I keep running into the laughing crazies. Last night, while riding the #77 Belmont bus, there was a guy at the back who was snickering gleefully while tapping his feet. He nodded to me as I took one of the inward-facing seats. I nodded back then drew my attention to the front of the bus. Next thing I knew, the guy had gone from mumbling to himself in spanish, to calling out every stop on the route. He'd call out the next stop, then say "poop". He did this from Campbell to the Red/Brown line stop. I couldn't control my snickering as the man incessantly ranted, "Ashland..Poop!!... Southport...Poop!! Lakeview...Poop!! Racine....Poop!! Seminary...Poop!!!" When the bus reached the "L" station, he stood up, gave everyone a "Howdy" and a nod as he made his way from the back of the bus to the front, then exited.

[rexblade]

aside from the "laughing crazy" in the previous post, I'd like to add that I have run into a problem with the "staring crazies" on many occasions - and it's not always in the context of the post I made ~10 entrys up. Last night, I was in a simple pair of jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt. Nevertheless, there was a guy on the red line, about half a car away from me, who would NOT stop glaring at me. He had an expression that made me wonder if I did him some terrible injustice in a past life; it was one of those "I've finally found you, you rat bastard!" looks. He stared at me like this from Belmont until he got off the train at 69th.
Correction: When he wasn't sleeping, he was glaring at me. I'd glance nervously at him from time to time, and see him either with his face buried in the window, fast asleep, or sitting straight up and burning a hole in my forehead with his "stank-eye". Really kinda creepy. Has anyone else ever run into a "staring crazy" like this?

[m]

It's a gorgeous morning on a Red Line el platform. Birds chirp. The streetsweeper swishes by below. But there's an eerie calm, punctuated by the bright white puffy cumulus clouds overhead that sit motionless in the sky. Interesting things are in store ...

A 30ish metrosexual with requisite untucked, vertical-striped collared shirt, black fancypants and black leather shoes boards along with me at Thorndale. We sit across from each other in the priority seats (I am recovering from a broken ankle). He has a buzz-cut, mirrored futuristic sunglasses, and two-day sloppy-stylish stubble.

He quickly sets up a jamming/computing workstation in his seats, briefcase and iPod in the seat next to him, large silver laptop in his lap.

The train starts movin' and he starts groovin' ... shaking his head from side to side and jostlin' his leg to the beat of the music piping into his ears through those signature white headphones. The mirrored sunglasses come off.

Bryn Mawr, Berwyn and Argyle, stop-and-start, clackety-clack ... the car begins to fill.

A girl sitting perpindicular to him is completely amused. She takes him in for a good minute, then smiles and shakes her head before going back to her book. His eyes pop open wide and he mouths a silent "oohah" at something on his computer screen, then swivels his head again from side to side, squints and smirks. This guy is havin' some fun.

At Addison, there are still a few seats left in the car, but this guy's pushing the limits of civility. When we pull up, he stretches across both seats with a leisurely and slightly smug (or oblivious) demeanor, puts his arm up behind his grooving head, and literally soaks it all in, watching our new groggy carmates board with a bemused expression.

Is he like this every day? Did he close on a stunning and exciting condo yesterday? Did he get laid last night? Did he slip a little somethin'-somethin' in his morning coffee? Did he forget to take his Ritalin? Alas, I will never know.

At Belmont, our friend hops up, grabs his computing and dancing supplies and literally dances out the door. As he leaves, I simultaneously want to laugh at him, smack him and thank him.

[Kristine]

I don't know if this anecdote is truly amusing or if I was just bored with my book. When I got on the Red line yesterday, a man sitting in the side-facing seat by the door was eating a double cheeseburger. I know it was a double because he had opened the wrapper all the way and removed the bun. I didn't watch longer to see why he had to spread his sandwich open on his lap because I am so disgusted when people eat anything on the train.

(Really, people: do not eat on CTA. If you don't have time to consume your snack before stepping on to CTA property, then you Don't Have Time To Eat. How can you be so revolting?)

Anyway, a few stops later, the driver emerged to disable the door beside double-burger man, for no reason that was apparent to any rider. To do so, she had to open the cabinet on each side of the door. When she stepped up to the man, he looked up with a giant white mustache on his upper lip. It looked like a full mustache from a Got Mayonnaise? campaign. For a few confusing moments, the man didn't understand what the driver wanted: the driver mumbled again, the man leaned to one side to afford access, and then the driver made him stand up. She made her adjustment, told us the door would no longer open, and then returned to her compartment. Double-burger man said to her departing back, "Thank you!"

[Patrick]

This is the tale of Ms Macramé and Ms Demure.

First, let me say that I love, no LOVE, the Transit Theater. I credit this to my late mother, a 1960’s cocktail drinkin’, Chesterfield smokin’ minister’s daughter who often took me, as a child, to hang out at the international terminal at O’Hare just to go “people watching”. At age 6 I was already fascinated by the seemingly endless visual smorgasbord of the human race.

Earlier this summer on a late Friday afternoon in mid-June, I left work a bit early. I was tired, it had been a long week and I just didn’t want to deal with the rush hour crowd in the loop. Mornings I usually take the Brown Line to downtown because I enjoy the morning light but at night I just want to get home as soon as possible so I always grab a north bound Red Line at Monroe. This Friday was like most; the car was full but not packed and it was very quiet. At the Lake St stop it all changed.

A few people got on including two remarkable young black women who grabbed everyone’s attention. They were young, tall and even taller in their summer heels. Big hair and breasts really added to the eye-popping vision. The shorter quieter one (whom I shall now and forever call Ms Demure) was a vision but the tall one? Absolutely stunning!

Open toe high heeled sandals. Hip huggin’ low rise jeans, skin tight and with the top button already open, so scandalous yet inviting. Big red nails and glamorous eye make-up let everyone know that she takes her public appearances seriously. But all that was nothing compared to her, um, mid-section. She was wearing a sleeveless, mess tank top of sorts except that it was red-yarn macramé with HUGE openings in the yarn so you could see…..everything. Wait! I forgot to mention that she had HUGE breasts and she was NOT wearing a bra or anything else under her macramé top. Yes, full on surgically enhanced big bare titty action on the rush hour Red Line! (She will now and forever be known to me as Ms Macramé 2005.)

Everyone was staring with mouths agape. Were they hookers? Were they strippers? Hooker strippers? What on earth had boarded the Red Line? I could tell Ms Macramé loved the attention and she put on a show, slow to choose a seat. She also gave everyone that “look”, the one that said “don’t even think about messin’ with me”. That’s when I noticed something really extra special….the size of her hands and her feet. Oh my! A TRANNIE! Wait, make that two trannies! YEE HAH!

That’s when they had my complete and unending admiration. By now Ms Macramé had taken a seat. I was standing near the door and when she glanced in my direction I gave her a smile to sort of let her know that I had figured her out and thought she was cool. Her look back said, “Oh yeah Mr Middle Age Bald White Businessman? How about this?” and she then adjusted her red macramé top so that both BIG nipples were poking out and aimed at me like little flesh guns. After adjusting she looked at me and smirked again to let me know she was fierce and had just put me in my place. Of course the previously snoozing grandma next to her could only stare.

That’s when she and her friend, Ms. Demure, took out their bags from Taco Bell and spilled the contents into their laps. Yay, gorditas for dinner! What a sight watching them eat their gorditas with their big hands and big red finger nails. Uh-oh, their stop. They hopped up and got off at Clark and Division. The whole car let out a collective gasp as they exited.

Every good story has an epilogue and here’s mine. I saw them a week or two later in the morning. They were sitting in the bus shelter at Belmont and Clark…….eating Dunkin’ Donuts.

I thank my mom every day for teaching me it’s okay to stare at other people.

[An Jiaoshi]

A couple of summers ago, I was on a 145 bus heading up Michigan Avenue. As the bus was stopped in traffic, I turned to look out the window and saw a 20-something woman struggling with a couple of parcels as she tried to climb onto the back of a motor scooter. She was not unattractive herself; however, she wore a tank top of about the most unflattering shade of baby blue imaginable, ill-fitting beige low-rise stretch pants, and what looked like a couple of wooden blocks strapped to her feet. I'm no fashion maven, but even I could tell she'd made some unfortunate fashion decisions that day.

Just as I became consciously aware of this, from about two rows back I heard a very gay voice saying, quite loudly and clearly, "Oh, honey, you need to go home and start all over."

[Erika]

a FREAK show . . . . that only the bus can deliver . . .

So, last Sunday, I'm ridin' home on the 151 bus yesterday after shopping at Bloomingdales. There was the craziest collection of utter freaks on that bus.

There was newlywed couple, who can't keep their hands off each other - which is not too freaky. Except the guy is utterly pasty and really pudgy with a high pitched squeaky voice, and his wife is a supermodel quality hottie, apparently Indian or something. I figure he must have money.

Then, up comes Angry Sporto Guy, who makes some snide comment (why?) to them as he huffs onto the bus. He's got a bright red face, big beer gut and looks reeeeally mad, and is lugging an enormous box of what is probably sport gear, but given the collection of nuts on board, I'm convinced it's bombs - he's the Sport Bomber.

The chick sitting next to me, is normal looking, stylishly dressed and with perfect makeup even. She then starts blinking rapidly and twitching and swearing and muttering about how the ACLU is not FUCKING paying her enough, and they are FUCKING with her . . . twitch-blink-blink-twitch.

In a respite from my horror, I glance at the mild mannered guy next to me, quietly reading his paper, which is neatly folded. Until I notice that the clipping is 10 years old, and it's a picture of Don Johnson, which is frayed from apparent affectionate fondling. He's gazing adoringly at this photo, and appears to be quite, uh, glad to look at ol' Don. Oy.

Then . . . JESUS BOARDS THE BUS. I kid you not, from the Lincoln Park zoo, a guy with long black hair, long white robe, sandals and . . . a big cross w/ INRI on it gets on. Sport Bomber apparently is very offended by Jesus, because he starts making angry remarks and is trying to pick a fight with him, his enormous sport bag is swinging inches from my face. Jesus, predictably, is diplomatic and appears to defuse the situation, at least until Sport Bomber exits the bus, near the playing fields.

This causes the Mutterer to rave louder about that damn ACLU . . .

Jesus gets off near Sheridan and Belmont, forgiving sins for everyone on the bus.

Paper Gazer gets off at a nursing facility on Sheridan, never taking his eyes off Don.

We get up to Irving/Broadway, and there is a guy lying LYING flat out on the sidewalk, all bright red and sunburned, apparently passed out drunk. Right on the sidewalk.

This all happened Sunday on the SAME bus ride. I kid you not. It was totally crazy.

[brad]

wow. i think erika wins.

[Culhavoc]

More on CTA re-routing/shutdowns

I was just forced to take the Blue Line home because the Brown Line EL was closed due to "CTA work/ers". I questioned 4 CTA employees, 1 at the State/Lake EL station, 1 at the Clark/Lake EL platform, and 2 within the Blue Line station/mezzanine at the Thompson Center (Clark/Lake).

2 would not comment. The other 2 said "CTA Work" and "Due to CTA Workers".

The "Conclusion" section of my article (http://culhavoc.blogsome.com/2005/08/03/tommy-two-times-and-the-alleged-mi6cta-incident/) includes several items of interest that clearly explain the reason for the re-routing. Fed funding (1/4 B for CTA) was OK'd by Congress in early July 05. The expansion on the CTA EL lines is finally underway. However, the rerouting DOES NOT occur in the morning rush hour, only at 5pm rush hour and lunch hour. Why?

I have another interview with a CTA employee (friend of the family) which I will conduct in the comming days, perhaps he can verify what I am about to speculate on.

I have the feeling that the majority of CTA "threats" are simply an excuse to experiment with traffic flows before actual construction begins. I surmise that the reason for conducting such an experiment during the close of business hours rather than the opening of business hours is because, well, it eats into the time of the riders, not Corporate Chicago.

This is speculation which I will attempt to confirm.

-Culhavoc

[Brendan]

Thursday on the northbound 49 a trixie gets on at Lexington and Western. Didn't think anything about it until the bus driver exclaimed "Why'd you put $10.00 in there, I don't have change!" She protested that she had a fare card. He pointed out that she didn't put a fare card in. At first he suggested that she get the bus number and call the CTA for her money. Well, it wound up that he would have the next 4 people getting tranfers give her the money. It was a polite crowd though, we mostly kept our snickering to ourselves.

[rexblade]

I've noticed that most of the posts regarding the South Side portion of the "L" system tend to stop somewhere around the Red line stop at 35th. Coming from someone who commutes from quite a bit further south than that, you guys are missing out on a lot of fun. There is a glut of crazies, evangelists, and self-contradicting druggies between 95th and the Loop, and it would be a shame if they went unnoticed on this wonderful site. I, Rexblade, shall implement my "No Psycho Left Behind" program, by sharing my adventures from 'down under' from time to time. I invite my fellow Southsiders to do the same!

[rexblade]

WARNING: If ever you find yourself riding the #95W bus during the afternoon, and happen to spot a heavy-set, dark skinned man sweating bullets (regardless of the weather) and clutching a Bible with a ticked-off look in his eye, STAND CLEAR!!!

If it's not bad enough that this man is an evangelist, he seems to have tourette syndrome. He starts his sermon like any other evangelist, calmly leering at passengers while declaring that he knows there are some wretched souls riding today. Then comes his sermon, highlighted with awkward and ear-piercing screams: "AAAHHHH!!! The Lord saves all!"..."Put down the booze and the drugs cuz AHHH they won't get ya any closer to the Lord!!"..."The Lord saved a wretch like me and AAAHHH he can forgive you too if ya just call on Him AHHH!!!"

Once, while a woman was boarding the bus at Ashland, he swung his Bible out into the aisle in front of her and shouted, "WAAAHHH!!! Y'NEED JESUS!!!!" which had the woman so startled that she nearly leapt back into the driver's lap.

Luckily, it's rare that this man will be spotted on the train. He usually can only be found on busses from 95th to 79th, and from State to Western.

[Alan]

Around 10:30 PM on the night of Saturday, August 6, my wife and I on the Belmont platform, waiting for a northbound Red train. We waited around 20 minutes, watching numerous southbound Red trains and Browns pass us.

The loudspeaker suddenly squawked to feedback-screeching life. "Attention, passengers. There is no delay. I repeat--there is no delay. It's just that they're working on the Red Line on the South side. The trains are a little behind."

Well, that would be a delay, then, wouldn't it?

[Dunl]

Waiting for the southbound Red Line "L" last night at Grand just after 7 PM, with a few other people on the platform. One is a loud-talking guy who's part of a small group.

A few minutes into his loud-talking, he takes out a little point-and-shoot camera and snaps a few pictures of his friends.

"Who's taking pictures!?" the Star Security woman from the south end of the platform, hopping off the milk crate she's been sitting on and ambling northward. Another flash. "You can't take pictures! No pictures! There's no pictures allowed!" Star Security shouts.

"I-I didn't know," mumbles previously loud-talking guy, putting his camera away.

"I'm TELLING you NOW! No pictures!" Star Security retorts rudely. She strides past the "offender," making her presence clear, "checks out" the more northerly end of the platform and heads back toward her milk crate.

Two years ago, Ben Joravsky had a piece in the Reader about John Mattison, who, taking pictures on a CTA platform, had been told it was illegal to take pictures on CTA property. The article quoted CTA spokeswoman Noelle Gaffney as confirming that taking pictures is not against the law, except for rules governing things like impeding the flow of traffic, commercial photography and filmmaking.

So was this Star Security guard just taking it upon herself to oppose photography, or are security guards being instructed to stop people from taking pictures? Is it the CTA giving this instruction, or the security company -- in contradiction of public statements from the CTA?

It's not just that the security guard was making a big deal over something about which she was wrong (I believe, still), but she was also incredibly rude, loud, and generally unpleasant about it.

[Lybaby]

Rexblade=Groovy!

He is so right; the tales of the south side Red Line are so incredibly entertaining that they must be told. Their literary promise must be liberated. The normal freak show rules still apply but add to it all of the guys (and some gals) with their various hustles and whoo boy do you have a hoot and a holler.

It's better than watching T.V.

[C]

This morning on the southbound brown line ... it was pretty packed as we rolled into Fullerton. The train comes to a somewhat hard stop. I hear a loud gasp/scream from a woman and a muffled but intense cracking sound. I turn around and apparently the hard stop caused a young man to slam into a window near the handicapped fold up sets, cracking it like a spider web!

He promptly said he was okay as he disembarked at Fullerton.

Anyone with more details, please chime in.

[rexblade]

Cheers, Lybaby!

Yet another tale from the South:

While boarding the eastbound bus at 63rd and Halsted, I was greeted with a big smile and a wave from a man seated in the seat just beside the entrance. He wore one of those "this is a great day to be alive" grins. I smiled back, and sat in the first forward facing seat. I glanced back at the man to see him rocking back and forth, waving his hands before his face - obvious signs that Mr Grins is mentally handicapped.
Just as I had resolved to politely ignore Mr Grins, he began to laugh hysterically, grabbing the attention of everyone on the bus. From there, his dialogue became "HAHA!! Dont you come back here no more! Dont you come back here no more!! GET OUT!! HAHA!!!" He chanted this from the Wentworth to Stoney Island.
As if this encounter weren't both strange and amusing enough, I have since seen Mr Grins four times. Each time, he is happy as a clam, and rambling his chant, "Dont you come back her no more!!" This brings up two points: 1) I wonder if Mr Grins is being thrown out of the same place every day, and 2) I wish I could be so happy all the time, under any circumstances....or maybe not.

[Cheryl]

I was dared to post this. The people who dared me lurk here and said they would start contributing if I confessed. I decided, what the hey, I'm sure the statute of limitations is up by now.

Many, many years ago I was on the Howard line (that's how long ago it was, it was the Howard line). It wasn't crowded, but there were some standees. One of them was a pregnant woman. There was a guy sitting in one of the seats next to the doors that face the aisle. He had his briefcase on the seat next to him. I asked him if he would move his briefcase so the pregnant woman could sit down (I was standing also, but she really needed a seat). He refused. So at the next stop I picked up his briefcase and threw it off the train. He had to get up and chase after it, the doors closed, and the pregnant woman got her seat.

[Dean]

After a long and miserable week of nose-to-the-grindstone, it became MORE miserable when my early office departure didn't matter Friday afternoon--after a twenty-minute wait, a north-bound Red Line finally pulled into the Jackson stop, and a crush of people boarded only to find that we have a surly train operator who barked out "THIS TRAIN WAS DE*LAYED*! THERE ARE *MORE* TRAINS RIGHT BEHIND US! DOORS ARE *CLOSING*!" at every stop as we plodded our way north. Things perked up when I got off at my Wilson stop--I got to watch an incredible butt on a handsome man just ahead of me, and he reached into his pocket as he turned west onto the sidewalk to head down Wilson, walking toward our ever-present "troubador" (our wild-haired skinny resident beggar from the Wilson Club Hotel, who stands against the wall with his cup and sings either "Daniel Blow Your Horn" or one other old folk tune--NEVER anything else--with staccato precision). I was taken aback that a butt that nice would have the compassion to give money to a beggar...I could hear a coin rattle inside the plastic cup he tossed it in, followed by a blessed silence and a "thank you, sir!" And as I passed 10 feet behind, the Singing Beggar muttered under his breath "it's only a fucking NICKLE!" I couldn't help but to chuckle as I turned my corner and watched the magnificent butt of the Nickle Donor fade into the distance. Sometimes beggars CAN be choosers, I guess.

[Mary T.]

I've been riding the EL on a regular basis for nearly ten years now, and I've seen my fair share of Hobo Corner shenanigans, human waste in unwanted places, and mumbling crazies. But my favorite EL story is actually sort of sweet.

I had just moved into the heart of Wrigleyville and was taking the Red Line north to Addison. I had just had a really long day of classes at DePaul and was just ready to get the heck home already. I was in a middle car that was full but not packed; there were people standing but not stacked on top of each other. It had been overcast all day long and major rain was predicted.

Just like turning on a tap, inbetween Belmont and Addison, the rain came. HARD. It was insane how heavy it was raining. The train slowed to a stop and the driver annouced over that his visibility was zero and he was going to wait for the worst of it to pass, so he could see the signals at the Brown/Red Line junction. I huffed and inwardly complained; I wanted to get home and now. Everyone groaned a little.

So we're all quiet, either watching the rain or reading or whatever, all a little miffed and upset about being delayed, and someone's cell phone rings. And what was the ring tone?

"Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head".

Everyone chuckled and smiled a little, and after a few more minutes, the train started up again and went on its way.

[rexblade]

As far as I'm concerned, the only thing more disgusting to watch someone eat on a train than sunflower seeds is Flamin Hot Cheetos! It's always the same routine: the person pulls out the bag, rips it open, grabs handfuls of them and crams them in his/her mouth (no doubt dropping a bunch of them on the floor and getting that red cheesy stuff all over the place) then either finds somewhere to wipe the layer of red stuff off their hands - like their pants or a seat- or, even worse, furiously sucking and licking his/her hands clean amid loud smacking noises. *shudder* Certainly I expected the same routine when I noticed a young lady pulling a $0.99 bag of Flamin Hots out of her bag. Little did I know, I was about to bear witness to an anomaly among train-eaters.

First, she gently and quietly pulled the bag open. As I braced myself for that loud plastic crunching noise caused when someone plunges their hand into the bag, I was relieved to hear only a slight crackle as she used only her index finger and thumb to extract the Flamin Hots a few at a time. No loud crunching, smacking and panting for this lady, folks; She could chew with her mouth closed! I was indeed relieved to see such a polite eater for a change, but relief gave way to amazement at what happened next. She dropped a cheeto, and actually reached down and picked it up!! She held placed it in her hand under the bag, and went back to eating. When she had emptied the bag, she placed the dropped cheeto inside of it, folded it up, and put it back into her bag. I thought to myself, "This is the moment of truth: She's either gonna smear that red crap all over the place or start sucking her thumb." However, her solution to the red-finger problem had me go from being mildly amused to absolutely shocked! She reached into her bag, pulled out a napkin and a bottled water, then dampened the napkin and used it to clean her fingers!! That's cheating!! She pulled the cheeto bag out again and put the dirty napkin inside, then finished off the water. At her stop, she walked out onto the platform, and took a couple of steps back to throw all of the empty containers into the garbage can! BRAVO!!!

If more people on the train would show such courtesy, then life would truly be a dream for us all!

[jk1]

rex -

See, I eat all the time on the train. For the most part I really only drink on transit, but if I do eat, I limit myself to a small snack when I've gone a long time without eating and don't want to feel nauseous on the train.

When I eat something more substantial, it's always something that's easy to handle and that won't smell up the entire car. While I'm not as meticulously clean as the person you described, I am very careful not to drop anything and I only eat if I have a seat to myself. I ALWAYS take my trash with me and throw it into a garbage can on my way out.
For this reason, I always get defensive when people start making a big deal about eating and drinking on the trains. Unless the CTA spends an inordinate amount of money and time ferreting out anyone riding the subway with a soda and bag of chips, the transit repast will never go away.

As such, I think making some kind of effort to get people to exercise the most basic courtesy towards fellow riders would pay off. The CTA installing trash cans on buses and trains and actually emptying them diligently would be a great start as would better customer communication. Making some token effort to clean the trains would help pave the way as well...

[Dave]

Southbound Ravenswood (aka Brown line; I'm old fashioned) mid-morning, car moderately full and Im siting in a window seat and my satchel on the seat next. Now I try to be courteous, notice if a train or bus getting full and remove my things so others can sit...I suppose this day I was quite lost in thought. However I'd think 'common courtesy' should prevail...for instance if a seat is occupied by someones things and if not an obvious inconvenience, I gesture and ask "May I?"

Well, at Addison a seemingly well dressed Asian woman, mid 30's boards and I notice her quite well as she wordlessly picked up my satchel from the seat and with force LITERALLY THREW IT AT ME! No 'excuse me' or anything - but it gets better! Im in shock and insulted at such crass behaviour and I give the woman a good piece of my mind in the short trip to my stop at Belmont. She sticks her fingers in her ears and loudly goes "BLAH BLAH BLAH" - irritating me even more and increasing my chastisement of her lack of manners and breeding. This scene went on perhaps 5 mins or so, until my stop at Belmont where (to be honest) I wished I had kicked her feet out of my way in exiting; but did not. I settled with pounding on the window and the 'single digit salute' - she replied by sticking out her toungue.

There are two others.

Purple Line; say 8AM and I get on at Wilmette; empty train car. A woman gets on; again well dressed and late 30's Id say. Angrily demands of me: "You're in my seat - will you move!" The train car is EMPTY save for her, me and one other. The request was preposterous; I said no. She called me a 'bastard' and sat elsewhere.

Rt 49B; N. Western bus; a route I (and the other) take very frequently. Say 5:45 PM; bus crowded, I wasn't wearing my watch. Again, its another well dressed woman, Asian, early 40's and all I do is ask for the time. To which I am completely ignored (and I know she has no hearing trouble, etc.) Just the stone cold silence of being completely ignored and feeling so despised by this woman for asking nothing more than the correct time of day. As in the fist case, I felt insulted to the point of making some curt remarks on the point of simple public courtesy; yet in this case I had my come-uppance for as said her and I ride the 49B often and whenever she gets on, she sees and recognizes me and while we have never talked, I feel a sense of embarassment from her from that day...

[South_Side_Bert]

Well this was back about two yrs ago but I have seen this guy plenty of times afterwards, I was commuting from the Midway Orange Line station and as I came to Ashland, this guy dressed as Jesus, literally, in a purple robe, with a crown of thorns, carrying a huge wooden cross, came in and was speaking to a girl in Spanish about how he heard the devil in a Pink Floyd song and then decided to dress up like Jesus, he was also selling rosaries and Spanish Rock/Gospel CD's

[rexblade]

jk1, I totally understand what you're saying, and I applaud your courtesy. However, with the exception of myself, you and the woman I mention are two of about 4 people I have ever seen eat politely on the bus/train. More importantly stress in my previous post is that I can honestly say that I have seldom seen anyone eat a bag of Flamin Hots with any kind of dignity, much less the courtesy which the afformentioned young lady exercised.

[Patrick]

Dean: The endless parade of handsome men is what makes the CTA bearable. The car can be full of crazies, smell like pee, and have food wrappers all over the place but if there's few enticing backsides to view, who cares about a mess?

[LJL236]

Riders of the Green Line, here's an alert the CTA isn't sharing with you: There has been a rash of robberies/purse snatching/push-and-grab thefts on the Green Line trains running between the Cicero and Central stations. Young men and youths roam through the train cars -- it's like watching a basketball pattern -- sit down, jump up, look around for individual victims. They each pick out someone, grab what they want just as the doors are opening, generally at Laramie, and run -- then get back on another train and do it some more.
This is happening during peak commuting hours, as well as later in the evening, I'm told.
So hold on to your stuff and keep your eyes open. If you hear the door between cars open and slam shut and youths are coming through your car, be especially alert. They pulled my bag out of my arms at 6:15 on a Wednesday evening -- 15 minutes after they got someone else's briefcase.
I spent Saturday at the police station looking at photographs. Depressing. But not as depressing as having to replace all my ID, keys, cell phone, credit cards.
And here's a news flash: the CTA security people can't communicate directly with the Chicago police -- they have to telephone each other and talk via dispatchers. So much for Homeland Security, huh?

[cmama]

How long does it take for a person to drive one mile with only two traffic lights and a hand full of cars? 3 minutes maybe. No, my bus driver took 7 minutes this morning. I don't think he went over 15 miles an hour in a 30 zone. He also stopped at every other bus stop for no reason at all.

[Christina]

I walked up the stairs on evening to go home on the Orange Line at the Randolph/Wabash stop. I witnessed this homeless man trying to pick pocket a woman's purse. She caught him and started to scream. I ran to tell a CTA employee. Can you beleive he had the nerve to tell me there was nothing he could do?! He had his radio in his hand! So much for the "If you see something say something" motto. They won't help you out.

[Kimberli]

As my roommate and I were coming home last night on a NB Red Line, this well-dressed young man who had been sitting with his eyes closed the whole ride got up around Wilson. He never made a sound as he vomited right next to the door. If he'd only waited 15 more seconds, he could have done it on the platform. The worst part was that even though we averted our eyes, there was this awful, vivid splashing sound. Gross. He got off at Wilson, but we got to keep that extra special part of him.

Oh, and then, apparently just to piss us off, the conductor announces at Loyola that the train will be running express to Howard. Why would a Red Line go express at at one a.m. for two stops? Perhaps it was the vomit? Since our stop is Morse, there was nothing to do but get off at Loyola and walk home. But this was highly conducive to the "Was the vomiting guy drunk or legitimately ill?" debate. As well as the "Which would we have more sympathy for?" discussion.

[jk1]

Drunkards vomiting in Shillerville?

As someone who used to commute from the Wilson stop every day, I have to say that it's unfortunately par for the course.

Words can't describe how much I hate passing through that area...

[Christina2203]

I was sitting on the Orange Line on my way to work, with my boyfriend. This man was behind me, he was probably in his 50's. He wasn't homeless but he wasn't a business man either. All of a sudden i feel someting on my hair as we were coming up to a stop. I realize that the man was playing with my hair. i turned around to say something, but he got up and ran off the train. no self control i guess.

[Margaret]

Christina2203: That has happened to me, too! Twice! The first time was on the Purple Line going north, and a drunk guy did it. The second time was on a CTA bus (Irving Park bus?), and a young hispanic kid did it. Both times I jumped up immediately in disgust, moving to another spot. (((shiver))) Creepy.

[Margaret]

Yesterday after work (about 5:15pm) I was heading towards the subway entrance at Chicago and State Streets. A fire engine was parked outside with its lights flashing--not a good sign. A fire department guy (perhaps a firefighter, but not in his full-on gear) was standing outside the escalators. I saw people stop to talk to him, but they continued on down to the station, so I figured it wasn't anything serious. I got down to the bottom of the escalator and saw three firefighters (again, not in their typical gear) and one or two CTA staffers grouped around the tall revolving exit gates (not the turnstyles, but the tall gates that are like revolving doors with horizontal bars).

Trapped inside one of the gates was a young guy with a bike. (Now, remember, this was happening during rush hour, when you aren't supposed to bring bikes on the train in the first place.) Apparently he had tried to exit with his bike through the revolving gate and gotten himself stuck! He couldn't move forward or back out of the gate. I didn't stay to watch the firemen get the guy out. I just shook my head, said "D'oh!" (like Homer Simpson) to myself, and kept going down to the subway platform. To my right I heard a woman say, "I feel so bad for him!", referring to the stuck biker. Yeah, definitely an embarrassing moment for that foolish guy.

[Brandon]

My wife and I (both new to the area) were on a crowded blue-line train heading from damen travelling north toward the belmont stop when a young guy got on somewhere in between carrying his pet boa constrictor around his neck. I thought it was a fake until I saw it's tongue do that "tasting-the-air" thing - flickering up and down. Everyone around, standing and holding onto a pole, stepped back slightly as one guy pulled out his cell phone and asked if he could snap a shot of it and it's owner. The young guy kinda took a gangsta pose and I then realized that the snake was his bling-bling. natural organic bling.

[Brad]

"The Big Lie"

The CTA trains are starting to use this again, and I can't stand it!

The Big Lie is when a train conductor says "Another (insert train line name) Train is directly behind." in an effort to keep people from boarding full or nearly full trains.

First of all....there is ALWAYS a train behind because they are all on the same track. Conductors should be banned from saying directly unless the trains are literally backed up and another train will be in the station in less than a minute.

Grrrr...I hate the "Big Lie"

[cmama]

Margret,

I don't know what it is about people and bikes at that Chicago/State red line station. Last year I saw a guy with a bike stuck in the gate. He actually hesitated, looked at the turnstile, then looked at the gate and decided to put the bike in the gate virtically. He got in after the bike then the handles got stuck. Everybody looked at him, laughed, then went to the turnstile. I do wonder how they free a person who's been trapped in the gate.

[John K]

Don't know if this is technically footsies or not, but for a while on the red line, college girls were holding the chrome bar next to my hand, stroking my hand with her thumb. happened several times. Always grateful for any female contect!

[Kimberli]

I got on the SB Red Line at Morse today and the conductor waited a few extra seconds for a family of three to get on, a father, a teenaged mohawked son, and a few feet behind them, the mother. The son and the father got on and the dad stood in the doors and yelled, totally seriously, "Hurry up, BITCH!" at his wife who was just coming up the stairs. I made eye contact with this other girl on the train and we both had horror in our eyes. It was unbelievable! The woman did get on and she looked really embarrassed and shamed. I wanted to get up and kick Dad in the balls.

[Kimberli]

Margaret-- I totally saw that guy! I walked by thinking, "Dumbass." What would make a person try to fit a bike through there? I felt like going over the him and poking him with a stick, knowing he couldn't exactly chase after me.

[jt]

hey Margaret, cmama and Kimberli-I saw a guy stuck with his bike like that at the Bryn Mawr stop about a year ago. The revolving exit is on the other side of the street from the actual station there, and it had obviously just happened when I passed through, so I went and told the security person in the station "there's a guy stuck in the gate across the street." She looked at me in disbelief, so I said "just go look, you'll see what I mean." I bet they had to cut the bike up to get it out. People can be real morons sometimes!

[rexblade]

As if being an hour late for my mid-term exam wasn't bad enough, I got caught at the red line Harrison stop by that train fire at Bryn Mawr. The good news is that I actually had a very helpful train operator.

At first, he simply announced that the train wouldn't be moving for a very long time. He said "I can't tell you everything, and you'll probably hear about it on the news later, but an incident happened at Bryn Mawr and we're completely backed up. We'll be at Harrison for a really long time, so if you know another route to the north side, you're better off taking it." He could have left it at that, but then he told us to hold on a sec while he tried to contact the train ahead, to see if he could at least get us to Jackson where we could transfer to another line easier. When it was settled that the train ahead was just as stuck as we were, the operator actually got off the train and went to every car telling us about the Bryn Mawr fire and gave directions for alternate routes to anyone who needed them.

Bravo!!

[Texas]

I was on the purple line train that caught fire yesterday August 24. I gotta say, it's probably the most dramatic thing that's happened to me on public transit in any city. Smoke everywhere, firefighters on the tracks and news choppers in the air. They evacuated about half the train, and we all trooped back down the track bed to a red line train behind us on the inside track, where we waited for about 30 minutes while they got the burned train under control.

But the weirdest part is, after all this, I cannot find word one about this incident anywhere on the local TV news, newspaper websites - anything. Now I'm starting to wonder if I dreamed it all. Oh well.

[Warren]

You know how when you're watching movies you say to yourself that you know it's fiction because something that big would surely make the news? Well, now you know the truth. ;>

[ellisa]

Below are email between myself and Terry Levin V.P. of Customer Service for CTA. This is a good example of CTAs lack of service and responsibility taking.

Terry Levin wrote:
Well, then it's a mystery that I cannot explain. We have no one named Richard in CTA Customer Service and all the details of your conversation with him suggest you somehow were speaking to the RTA travel information center, rather than to the CTA. Our folks do take complaints and will not refer people to the garages unless the customer insists on being transferred there.

--Terry Levin

---- Original Message -----
From: ellisa ozia
To: Terry Levin
Sent: Thursday, June 16, 2005 10:27 AM
Subject: Re: Reimbursement request - Terry Levin

No. My first selection was "customer service", and my second selection was "comments or complaints". I may have been "commendations/complaints".

Terry Levin wrote:
Did you by any chance select the "travel information" option on the phone menu?

--Terry Levin

----- Original Message -----
From: ellisa ozia
To: Terry Levin
Sent: Wednesday, June 15, 2005 5:21 PM
Subject: Re: Reimbursement request - Terry Levin

I called 888-your-cta. I dialed the number at 9:23, by the time we hung up from each other it was 9:28.

Terry Levin wrote:
Thanks for your note. We have no one in customer service named Richard. Can you tell me what number you dialed?

--Terry Levin

----- Original Message -----
From: ellisa ozia
To: Terry Levin
Sent: Wednesday, June 15, 2005 1:34 PM
Subject: Re: Reimbursement request - Terry Levin

I left you a VM this morning.

The 9:14am 136 bus going south bound is the last one of the morning, at 9:28 it was still a "no show". I contacted your customer service department again, and still no help. I spoke to a gentleman by the name of Richard.

1. I asked if he knew of any problems with the bus, he hadn't
2. I then asked if I could report a problem, he said he didn't take complaints but that he could give me the number to the garage.

Mr. Levin, I have been riding CTA buses my whole life, I don't own a car, and I can almost bet money that you do not ride CTA buses for work or errands. Nor do you need the assistance of CTA customer service. I know about traffic, detours, break downs, etc., and you have told me everything under the sun about delays, but you still have not acknowledge by original issues from December which were:

YOUR MANAGER:
Told me to wait for the bus
Spoke to me 6 times within an hour
Told me that he was sending a bus
Had me waiting over an hour for a bus that never arrived
Told me he was sending a supervisor to find out what was going on

You getting back to me in a very timely manner is very appreciated, but when you go around and around my original concern from December and not returning my call like I asked in my last email, is insulting. I have been complaining to CTA about the 136 for about a year now, I first put something in writing in December, and I am still having the same problems. Now do you see why I feel it's a waste of time?

I definitely feel CTA should reimburse me the $16.30 from December. The bus not showing up had nothing to do with any of the reasons you gave me of why a bus might be late. The bus was in fact not late, but did not show up at all.

I have wrote to Mr. Lachowicz and then to you. Mr. Lachowicz referred me to you, I forwarded the letters I sent him to you, and I now want to take this up with someone else at CTA.

Ellisa

Terry Levin wrote:
Thank you for your latest complaint; I do not yet have answers about last Friday or today concerning the #136 route, but I am asking the supervisors of the route to specially monitor the service, particularly on the last two southbound buses of the morning. I also am bringing your complaint to THEIR supervisors to ensure any possible corrective action is taken as quickly as possible. There will always be traffic problems that are beyond our control which can cause a bus to be late or suddenly detoured, but we will always work to keep as close to schedule as possible and we take every complaint seriously.

As I mentioned previously, our customer service operators may not know--nor be able to find out--what the cause of a delay might be while it is occurring and you are waiting on the phone. We can usually find out about a major problems, such as a bus breaking down or someone becoming ill, because the bus operator reports such things to our Control Center. But we do not have at our fingertips information on delays that are caused by traffic congestion or other sudden causes that affect our progress, but don't necessarily involve our vehicles as a cause of the problem.

Our customer service operators will always record and process a complaint if they understand you are reporting a problem. I have no way to guess how your conversations went this morning or last Friday, but if they thought you were asking a question rather than filing a complaint, they might react in a different manner. If you make it clear that you are filing a complaint, they should be taking down the information. In the case of last Friday and this morning, I have already made sure your complaints are in.

I do hope you will not think it a waste of time to complain about your bus service, because customer feedback helps us learn about problems faster than might otherwise be possible. Even if I cannot always satisfy you with an immediate answer or by paying your cab fare, we do take all complaints seriously and we use them to help identify problems and take any possible corrective action.

Sincerely,

Terry Levin

----- Original Message -----
From: ellisa ozia
To: Terry Levin
Sent: Tuesday, May 31, 2005 11:26 AM
Subject: Re: Reimbursement request - Terry Levin

Mr. Levin,

I left you a voice mail message this morning regarding the 136 bus. You sent me the email below on 4/5/05, after reading it, I had to walk away from this for a while. I feel you totally disregarded the facts that I wrote to you and Mr. Lachowicz about.

Not once did you acknowledge the fact that YOUR MANAGER:

Told me to wait for the bus
Spoke to me 6 times within an hour
Told me that he was sending a bus
Had me waiting over an hour for a bus that never arrived
Told me he was sending a supervisor to find out what was going on

Mr. Levin, I have called Customer Service a few times since your last email. The most recent times was this morning and last Friday 5/27/05. On Friday Customer Service could not tell me why the bus was being re-routed from Wacker and Columbus and this morning they couldn't tell me why the 136 was so late. The 9:04 didn't show and the 9:14 arrived at Foster and Sheridan at 9:22. The Representative could not give me a reason, did not offer to take a report, or any of the things you said Customer Service could do. The same with the Representative I spoke with last Friday. Like I wrote in my first email to you, they don't know what's going on.

Also, the last paragraph in your last email is incorrect, there are still problems with the 136 being on time, I just felt it's a waste of time to complain. The last two runs of the day from downtown and the last run of the day to downtown from Foster and Sheridan have not been on time. The morning run has been more of a problem now.

I have to get back to work, and this is getting too time consuming. I'd appreciate if you would give me a call at your earliest convenience. My number is 312-277-0150. Thank you.

Ellisa

Terry Levin wrote:
Dear Ms. Ozia:

Thank you for your response. I think you may have misinterpreted my explanation about not being able to reimburse you for your cab fare. It is not that someone higher up than me has the authority to do it; it is that the CTA simply is not in a position to make reimbursement when someone chooses to take another form of transportation.

The reason I thought you were seeking reimbursement for your cell phone calls was the wording in the Jan. 20 letter that you forwarded to me, in which you described sending the listing of those calls and then later in the text asked for reimbursement. I apologize for the assumption, since you could have just been emphasizing the number of times you had been calling.

Customer Service actually can often find out what is going on if there is an accident or detour or some other specific reason for a long delay, though it may take a few minutes depending on the ability of our Control Center to reach the relevant personnel in the field. But if there is not an overt cause--a bus breaking down or a traffic blockage, etc.--and the delay is created by traffic congestion or another problem that has not yet been reported by the bus operator, it may not be possible to document the specific reason while you are waiting on the phone.

The garages often are not "the source" of the problem, though it depends on the actual cause of a delay. If something prevents the garage from sending out each bus on time--mechanical problems, lack of drivers, etc.--then certainly the garage knows about it and needs to take corrective action. But once the buses are out on the street, the responsibility to monitor them and identify problems that cause delays shifts to our field operations staff. That is why I continue to suggest that you report any problems to the Customer Service number, since the problem may not be one under the jurisdiction of the garage. Plus, even if Customer Service is unable to tell you right away what the problem is for a delay occurring at the moment, your call still ensures that all the proper officials are quickly aware of the problem, that relevant staff beyond the garage are also working to determine the cause, and that everyone concerned is aware of how frequent a particular problem might be. An isolated problem can arise any time, without warning; it is the ongoing problems that need the most attention so that whatever may be causing them over and over again can be identified and corrected to the extent humanly possible.

Again, I know you will not like the answer about the cab reimbursement, but the CTA just cannot commit to such payments. What we can do--and have done in your case--is take your complaint seriously and do our best to correct any problems that you report to us. The fact that you apparently have not had a serious problem like this in the past three months hopefully reflects the positive results of this effort. I can't guarantee that it will never happen again--we fall as short of perfection as any other human endeavor--but I can promise we will always work to minimize the problems and correct those we cannot avoid. We value you as a customer and we will always strive to give you the best-possible level of service we can.

Sincerely,

Terry Levin


----- Original Message -----
From: ellisa ozia
To: Terry Levin
Sent: Tuesday, April 05, 2005 11:07 AM
Subject: Re: Reimbursement request - Terry Levin

Hello Mr. Levin,

Thank you for your quick response. Can you give me the name or department that is in a position to reimburse me for my cab fare? I'm not looking for reimbursement for cell phone calls, I'm not sure why you think I would be.

Calling the Customer Service line is useless when it comes to finding out what's going on with your buses. They can't tell you why the bus is late, if the bus is coming, or anything they may have happened on the route, such as a accident. When you're waiting at the bus stop finding out when or if your bus is coming is what's important.

It's a shame that riders can't get problems solved at the source, which is N.P. garage for the 136 bus. I've spoke to a few of the Managers at N.P. garage over the last few months, are you telling me they are unable to correct the service problems from the Source? The 136 still leaves late from Franklin & Jackson, but at least now they are showing up for the last two runs. However, if there's a Supervisor present at Franklin & Jackson, the buses run like clockwork.

This response is a disappointment, and unfortunately I did not make "serious" efforts to get reimbursed for my cab ride because I first contacted Mr. Lachowicz about this on 1/20/05 and have never heard back from him or anyone at his office. I should have been a little more on top of this and a little less patient, or taken it to another level at CTA.

Considering:
1. 41 calls to N.P. garage in 6 consecutive months.
2. Waiting over an hour for a bus on 12/28/04 that Manager Smith promised would show up, but never did.
3. Waiting for 30 minutes for a Supervisor to arrive on 12/28/04, to help with the problem. The Supervisor came, stayed in his car, offered no explanation to waiting passengers, and then left without a word.
4. More than 6 calls with Manager Smith on 12/28/04 regarding the bus showing up.
5. Being inconvenienced for over an hour on 12/28/04 based on what Manager Smith was telling me.

I don't think it's too much to ask to be reimbursed for a cab ride that could have been avoided had the bus at around 7:15 showed up as Manager Smith "swears" it would. This was over 40 minutes after the very last run for the 136 bus, but I waited based on what he kept telling me.

I appreciate your apology about the service, but after so many apologies over the last few months from CTA management, apologies don't mean as much, because they don't solve anything.

I don't understand why the V.P. of Customer Service can not issue a transit card for $16.30 to a customer that has clearly been inconvenienced directly by CTA management, but if you say you can't, you can't. Please let me know who can, thank you again.

Ellisa Ozia

Terry Levin wrote:
Dear Ms. Ozia:

Thank you for your note and I apologize for the problems you have had with the #136 bus, including on Dec. 28, but we are not in a position to reimburse you for cell phone calls or cab fare.

We very strongly recommend that you always make any complaints about bus service to our toll-free customer service line at 1-888-968-7282, which is open weekdays between 7 a.m. and 8 p.m. and has voice mail the rest of the time. This is more effective than calling the garage directly, since your complaints would be seen by officials higher up in Bus Operations, including those responsible for our field operations. When we see a pattern of delayed service, we can give it special attention beyond what the garage itself is able to provide.

And although we cannot reimburse for taxi fare, we can and do everything possible to correct any ongoing problems with our bus service when the causes are within our control (unusually heavy traffic or bad weather can cause problems beyond our control). I do know from Mr. Lachowicz that your complaints have been taken very seriously and that special attention has been given to the #136 route, particularly insofar as making sure the last northbound buses from downtown have been more reliable.

You did not indicate how your #136 service has been recently, but a quick check of the records for the past two weeks indicates that the departures from Jackson and Franklin have been pretty reliable for the buses scheduled to start northbound at 6:22 p.m. and 6:34 p.m.

I know this response will disappoint you, in that you have obviously been making a serious effort to obtain financial restitution for your phone calls and cab fare. I wish I could accommodate you, but the toll-free number is the most we can do to defray the cost of calls from our customers and we cannot be responsible for reimbursing fares for non-CTA travel. However, again, we definitely offer you an ongoing commitment to providing you with the best-possible service and working as hard as we can to correct any problems that might arise. Please contact me and/or our customer service toll-free number if you have any further difficulties along these lines.

Sincerely,

Terry Levin
Vice President
CTA Customer Service

----- Original Message -----
From: ellisa ozia
To: tlevin@transitchicago.com
Sent: Monday, April 04, 2005 4:47 PM
Subject: Reimbursement request - Terry Levin

Hello Mr. Levin,

I was referred to you by Jim Lachowicz at North Park Garage. Due to few service problems with the 136 bus, I contacted his office as well as Customer Service (Service #04-0222-7018) back in December and January. See attached letters.

I am asking to be reimbursed $16.30 in the form of a transit card due to the incident with Manager Smith on 12/28/04. Mr. Lachowicz is unable to issue the reimbursement at the garage and suggested I contact you for the request.

Please call me at 312-277-0106, I look forward to hearing from you.

Regards,

Ellisa Ozia

[rexblade]

eliza

this would have seemed like less of an insane conversation if you had given us prior warning that the email responses were in reverse order (newest to oldest) both the first one and last one confused the crap out of me 0_o

[fritzie]

There was a big ol' raccoon on the SB Randolph/Wabash platform last night about 6:00. Just hanging out, eating Chex Mix. I half-expected him to get on the next Orange Line or something.

The Trib has recently run stories about coyotes in suburban backyards, but raccoons on the El? We need some rain...

Another odd thing seen from the Brown Line-- Someone has painted silhouettes of Mary Poppins on garages from Kedzie to Rockwell.

[Jasmine]

I thought I was in for another uneventful ride home on the 56 (Milwaukee Ave.) bus. I was spacing out, listening to music, until the bus heaved up to the stop at the corner of Milwaukee and Paulina. There are usually quite a few folks who get on here, laden with bulging plastic bags from the Jewel just north of the intersection. My favorite such guest was the lady pictured here. She seemed elated to see a small pervy-looking man wearing a white tank top. She had all sorts of interesting looking scars and marks up and down her forearms. She looked excitedly at other riders, especially a young woman holding a small pet in a carrier. She was like a curious, engaged infant. An infant who cursed and ate a slice of sausage pizza extracted from her faded Aldi plastic shopping bag.

[Cheryl]

I was standing at the corner of Wilson and Hazel this morning, waiting for any Lake Shore Drive express bus, when a #22 pulled up. Yes, a Clark Street bus going east on Wilson. The driver opened the door and informed me he was really a 148, so I got on. Then he proceeds east past Clarendon. I told him the 148 usually turns south at Clarendon. He did not know this. Turns out, he normally drove a #22 but he and his bus were magically transformed into a 148 at the garage that morning. They didn't tell him how to get to Lake Shore Drive, just to get over that and take it down to Michigan and Delaware and then to turn around at wherever it is the 148 turns. So I had tell him his real route, at least down to my stop. I don't know where he went after that.

[Erin]

After the White Stripes show downtown Wednesday night, I was waiting and waiting at the LaSalle blue line stop for the northbound train....according to the patchy PA announcement the blue line was running on one track between Western and Morgan, no explanation given. When the train finally arrived, this fidgety, slightly nutty older guy (who claimed to be an ex-CTA employee) across the aisle excitedly told me that someone had jumped in front of a train and they were cleaning the body off of the front of it. He then proceeded to complain about these stupid a$&holes who jump in front of trains hoping to win a lawsuit, not realizing that the trains go 40mph and they'll get killed.

1. Does anyone know if this really happened Wednesday night, or was this guy truly crazy?

2. Can there possibly be people out there jumping in front of trains for money?

[An Jiaoshi]

Recently, when I was riding home on the Brown Line, there was a youngish Latino guy (early 20s, I'd say) with an "I fucking own the world" attitude on. He was talking into a flip-up cell phone and evidently having trouble making himself understood to the person on the other end. This was probably because he was holding the entire bottom half of the phone in his fist, in a gangsta gun grip, thus covering up the mouthpiece, while talking into the earpiece end, which he moved back and forth between his ear and his mouth.

[RedEmma]

Here's one more for the history books: I was on my way home from work on the L Wednesday night around 10:30 pm, and these two guys, let's call them Black T-Shirt and Frat Boy, are playing a sort of truth-or-dare version of HORSE -- or dare-and-dare, really, because there certainly aren't any giggling admissions of truth going on. No, what's happening is, Black T-Shirt is daring Frat Boy to do things (stupid things, need I specify?) or he will get an H, then an O, etc. BTS dares FB to do a backflip as the train decelerates, holding the vertical railings. BTS demonstrates. All of this is happening VERY LOUDLY, and the whole train is starting to get involved. Some people are laughing, others looking disgusted. One guy starts to keep score. I aside to my neighbor, "It's awfully drunk outside for a Wednesday." When FB declares that he can't do a backflip, Random Bystander announces, "Then you have H! It's H to nothing! H to nothing!" FB is not about to take such an insult lying down, however, so he attempts a backflip and lands flat on his back, bumping his head on the floor of the train. (I'm sitting RIGHT THERE, by the way, and was seriously afraid that I was going to be clocked in the head.) He stares inertly at the ceiling for a few seconds, then starts getting up. Now BTS says, "OK, the next girl who gets on the train, you're getting her number! (Looking around at all the other riders) None of you are gonna give us up, right?" Well, whether we would have or not, no one will ever know, because at the next stop, no one gets on. BTS is sorely disappointed. "Where are all the women?!" he yells. "OK, do another one (backflip, that is), do another one!" he demands of his friend. And BTS demonstrates handily again. A girl at the end of the train starts protesting. A pair of very prim middle-aged ladies begin scolding. And, of course, FB attempts the flip anyway, and once again lands flat on his back, *bouncing* his head on the floor this time. And this time, he doesn't get up. BTS brushes it off, "Oh, I've known this guy for years, we've done way stupider stuff than this; he's fine." Someone has pushed the emergency assistance button, and the train has stopped. People begin to gather. Someone checks FB's pupils with a pen light, and they're not responding. The girl who had protested earlier begins to wail, "I told you not to do it, and now look at what's happened!" Prim Middle-Aged Ladies scold, "And what if he *dies*? What will you feel like *then*?" And BTS does, for a moment, look a bit chastened. Somebody calls the paramedics, and passes on their strict instruction not to let FB move or be moved. One lady, who's a nurse, suggests turning FB's head to the side, so that if he vomits, he won't choke. And, I can't believe I actually thoguht this, but I swear I did, I thought, "I hope he doesn't vomit. I like these shoes." Shortly before the paramendics came, FB regained consciousness. And there isn't a whole lot more to the story that isn't utterly predictable (paramedics wheel out FB, BTS is starting to laugh about it already, long train delay) except for this: As we're waiting for the train to get going again, various people are offering their personal analyses (Prim MAL's: "They couldn't have *just* been drinking. I think they were *on drugs*!" Scorekeeper: "*You* were laughing at him! It's all *your* fault!") and one guy busts out with, "I'm in Chicago visiting my uncle. This is only my second time on the L!" Somebody else assured him, "Usually, people don't talk to each other this much."

[ken]

9/7/05 5:30pm,+/- Cute DePaul/Lincoln Park couple get on @ Fullerton, going southbound on the Red Line. He did something she ain't too happy about. She is ripping him a new one! All he can do is lower his head. Maybe they're going to the Sox-Royals game. Separately.

[EJ]

6:30pm last night on the Red Line. I got on at Jackson and noticed an older woman who looks as if she is on heroine or something. She keeps moving about and scratching herself and then she would put her head back and pass out for a minute, wake up and do it all over again. THEN she starts touching herself and masterbating and passes out wakes up and is back at it again seriously going at it with herself then scratches all over specially in the provate area. It was entertaining to watch although rather disturbing.

[Nat]

Wednesday on the Brownline heading towards the loop, i was sitting next to a CTA employee, and other who was standing next to the Emergency button. The standing employee accidentally bumped the button, and when asked what was wrong pretended to be a passanger, and said he accidentally bumped the button. Then he and the seated empolyee started giggling like teen-age girls. Not distrurbing, just really funny.

[p2a2roach]

This incident happen about 6 years ago when i was going to school at the Univ. of IL at Chicago (UIC). Anyways, I lived over by Western and Taylor in the Tri-Taylor area just west of Little Italy so i would take the Blue Line pretty often.

At the time, the CTA decided that the #7 Harrison bus wouldn't run pass 8pm anymore so i was stuck taking the blue line home late at nite. The closest stop was to my apartment was the Western Stop. This was an ok stop but it was still kind of a scary stop at nite.

Anyways one nite i was coming home from a Cubs game and hanging out at the bars around 10:30 pm. I take the Red Line then transfer over to the blue line at washington. the trip is going is routine. That is until i get off at my the western stop. I'm walking out to the exit when this one guy comes up to me and walks pretty close to me. I'm thinkingn "what the hell!" so my guards goes up automatically...i check to see that my wallet is in my front pocket. i grab my keys and stick the keys thru my fingers like claws in case i have to get physical. I keep walking then he goes up next to me and says "hey man...can you help a brother out?" i'm like "sorry i don't have any change." he continues to harass me "come on man...i know you can spare some change. i know you got some money." i tell him again "sorry dude...i don't have any money." i keep walking and i finally get to the turnstiles but instead of going thru the stiles i see that there is a CTA attendant in the booth. I go up to the attendant and tell him that i have a guy who keeps buggin me for money. the attendant asks me who it is and i point him out. He gets out of his booth and tells the guy "hey leave the kid alone". where the guy goes "i didnt' do anything to the kid." at this point i was getting pretty pissed. so i just walked out of the station. i started walking to my apt but i didn't realize that the same guy was still following me. this time he comes out to me and ask me "hey can you break a twenty?' as he's holding up a $20 bill. he then puts his arm around my shoulder. i tell him to get off of me but he keeps walking with his arms around my shoulder. i'm a little freaked out at this point so i did what naturally comes to people in that situation. i turned around kneed his balls then punched him in the face with the hand that had the keys in them then kicked him in the face when he was bent over then took his $20 bills and took off running. after this incident, i didn't take the blue line for almost two months cuz i was afraid i might bump into the guy.

he was a littel too close for comfort for me so i had to defend myself. i don't know waht i did was right but after really not getting any help from the CTA employ i was like screw it.

[p2a2roach]

i think it was about 2 weeks ago during the morning rush hour, when i got on the #151 Bus at union station. anyways the bus driver on this bus was new to the route but of course none of us knew this at the time. anyways he Eastbound on Jackson as usual but then he turns and goes Northboug on LaSalle which is not the correct route cuz the 151 is suppose to go all the down on jackson then turn on state. anyways, i'm sitting in the back and theres two other passengers in front. i thougth it was a detour or something when one of the other passenger as the driver where he was gonna turn. that's when he told us that he's never driven this route before and he's usually on the LaSalle route, which explains why he turned on LaSalle. well none of the other passengers knew the 151 route so i went up and gave him the basic route. he had the route schedule with him but it seemed like he didn't know where all the other streets were. we ended going north on LaSalle then east on Upper wacker and then finally norht on Michigan to catch its regular route. it was kinda cool in a way cuz i got to work a lot earlier since we didn't have to stop at all the stops on state street.

[Repaerducer]

It was about 3am and my wife was fighting a bad cold, so I went out to the 24-hour Walgreens on Michigan Avenue at Chicago. To get there, I thought I'd take the Red Line.

So I'm waiting on the Lake Street platform for a train to come and after a few minutes this guy starts beating this woman. At first she's slumped over on the bench as he's doing it, then eventually falls to the ground calling out, "Stop it Reggie! Stop it!" Now that she's on the ground, he starts kicking her. My first instinct is to jump on Reggie, but instead I run up the stairs to alert the "customer assistants."

There's at least four of them crammed in the little metal booth (this was just before the Lake Street station renovation began). I start calling to them from the other side of the turnstile but they can't hear me because their CD player is turned up too loud and they're whooping and hollering along with the music, hands in the air. Eventually one spots me frantically waving my hands, and they all turn and start pointing fingers at me and laughing. At this point I decide to go back through the turnstile to get close to them. I'd been hesitatnt to do it thus far because I paid with a Chicago Card, and the turnstiles light up "No Pass Back" and don't let you enter if you try to use it twice within 30 minutes at the same station. But I decide this woman's life is more important and go through the turnstile and yell through the plexiglass that a guy is beating his wife on the platform.

That finally gets their attention and en masse they run down the stairs just as "Reggie" is walking causally up the stairs and out of the station and into the night. If these "customer assistants" were doing their job keeping an eye on the station, Reggie would be in handcuffs and his wife/girlfriend/whatever may not have ended up in the hospital.

The moral of the story: You can't depend on customer assistants. Sometimes the right thing to do is to take matters into your own hands.

[Tequila Red]

There's a cute series of Missed Connections on Craigslist about some dude who's handing out newspaper hats to people on the Red Line - and there's a hilarious photo.

I guess it turned out to be some roundabout guerilla marketing for his band - which is brilliant - but that picture will never stop being awesome.

[melanctha]

I took the #151 Sheridan bus last night. Despite the crowded bus and the wet weather outside, it was made really pleasant by The Best Bus Driver Ever.

He made everyone squish in so that all the people waiting could get on. He asked if any of the pretty ladies would like to come sit on his lap. And best of all, he sang the entire time.

As we were about to reach Burton, the bus announced the street name:

"Burton"
"What stop was that?"
*presses the button again* "Burton"
"I like that name"
"Burton"
"Let's hear it again"
"Burton"
"That sounds nice"
"Burton"
"Ohhh Yeah!"

At one stop a man no taller than 5'5" was waiting. He looked VERY wet and a tiny bit miffed about being stuck out in the rain. He took a poll of the front of the bus as to whether we could cram another person in.

As the doors opened, he said, "Ohhh yeah, this a tough man, I knew I had to let him on! You'd be angry if I didn't let you on, wouldn't you boy?"

The guy stood there looking confused for a second before the whole bus burst into laughter. He laughed, swiped his card, and joined in the fun.

By the time I got off at Diversey, everyone on the bus was in such a good mood. People offered their seats to each other, strangers were striking up conversations, and everyone was laughing. All because of The Best Bus Driver Ever.

[savgpncl]

Well, everyday is a tale on the CTA. I've been riding it for 20 years and it has never been good for this city. Each ride is like the last, slow and meandering. The little train that couldn't. It's pathetic that a large urban area has such a lousy public transit system.

[SpartyCuse]

Funny story that I never had time to post back when it happened. Its August 19, 2005, Im riding the Blue Line toward the Loop, and we stop at California. The train sits there for about 5 mins, doors open, no announcement. I finally get off the train, step onto the platform, to try and find out whats happening.

In the car ahead, theres a bit of a disturbance. Theres an African-American woman, clearly homeless, drunk, and possibly high or mentally ill. Shes causing a scene on the car ahead - smoking, drinking booze, and harassing passengers, and the CTA staff somehow get her off the car. Now, instead of closing the doors and having the train take off, the train sits there. She goes out of sight, then comes back, and gets on the train again.

Then she lights up a smoke. People wonder where the police are, and the CTA staff say "on the way" This is now 10 mins after we stopped. CTA staff are telling people they cant pull her off the train, and people are yelling everything possible at her to get her off. Some guy offered her more booze if she got off, and one guy yelled "free weed out here" as a way to get her out. No luck.

Finally, about 15 mins after we stop, one angry passenger asks the CTA staff if HE can pull her out. Staff basically says do whatever you wanna do. Many people, including myself, tell him to wait for the cops, but he was in a hurry to get someplace.

So the guy, as you can guess, plays the role of CTA bouncer and clears the car of the problem.

The worst part? As she was being removed from the train, she forgot to hold her pants (which were about 10 sizes too big) up, and the entire CTA community got a not-so-lovely look at what she had south of the border.

The train then closed the doors, and took off. No word what happened to her.

[E]

Okay, now I think I've heard everything. On a southbound Blue line this morning (horrible commute with the rain and all) we stopped at one of the aboveground stops, I think Western but don't quote me. The conductor comes on and tells us the "Due to a delay BEHIND us", we would be standing at the stop for three minutes in order to allow the train to catch up to us.

I've heard of busses taking their time because they are ahead of schedule but I've never heard of a train waiting for a delayed train to catch up to it.

[fastmoose]

This evening on the Red line heading downtown, I had a lovely, telling interaction.

Just before pulling in to Grand, 7 or 8 teenagers cross from the car in front of the one I'm riding in, into mine, the train's final car. Of course, I'm sitting in the single side facing seat near the back door. The door proceeds to knock into my feet, not very hard, but enough so that an apology would have been appropriate.

Much senseless shouting, shrieking ensues. I don't look up. I'm reading, trying to retain my concentration. Unfortunately, one trip through the train wasn't enough fun, so the teens reverse course, carrying on a running cocksure show.

Apparently, reading is a mockable offense, so after they've opened the door, smacking my feet again, they proceed to start shouting at me. A couple cross, the next few take their turns at the mic. One yells, 'It's Tom Cruise!' in my ear, even though I look absolutely nothing like him. I begin to look up. My book is promptly slapped out of my hands with a snap. Laughter follows. My hands pursue my book on the floor, I'm jostled by the swinging door, the rest of the teens file out, apparently having had their fill of fucking with me.

After retrieving my book, I get up. The last teen is staring back, the door cracked open. 'I'll beat your ass...', he says with an assured snort. I think about it. The last thing I need is an altercation. Of course assholes like this won't play fair. If I rebound on one, the others will follow. I'm not going to be baited. I sit down. Every shred of impulse control I own is being massed to keep me seated.

Washington, a stop earlier than I planned to get off, but I exit anyway, getting from my seat like an uncoiled spring. Striding angrily toward the escalator, I can't contain it anymore. A decisive jujitsu elbow strike to an unsuspecting metal divider later, the crashing sound reverberates through the station. Suddenly, I'm the fool. Maybe the Gracies would have liked my form, but my willpower leaves something to be desired.

In the end, I know those teens will probably never amount to shit. Play games, ignore your intellect, mock what you don't understand, never grow. Die a loser. It's a dead end program, and they won the act that they didn't even see. As I walk to my destination, I can't get over the fact that as much as the frequently drunken, obnoxious Cubs fans annoy me, as much as the shrieking of the trixies jangles my nerve, neither CTA species has ever jumped in my face, made physical contact with me, threatened me. This is another level of toxic behavior. Oh well, fate will deal with you all.

[CPB]

9/26/05, 4:45ish p.m. - On the 36 bus heading into Lakeview from the Loop, a zaftig elderly woman with what appears to be the beginnings of dreadlocks trundles a large plastic lawn chair down the aisle and takes a seat. She then reaches into one of her many bags and pulls out what looks to be a small ball of matted hair tied together with a string of pink beads. The lady produces a handful of bobby pins and proceeds to pin the wad of lemony blond hair atop her head of clumpy grey trusses as neighboring riders look on in dismay.

[rexblade]

Last night during my commute home on the southbound red line, the car I was riding in was visited by one of the 'regular' hobos. He stumbled in through the emergency doors and uses his terrible smell as an ice breaker to start telling dirty jokes to a bunch of teenagers who were trying to ignore him. Two of the teens stand up and move toward the doors in a futile attempt to distance themselves from him. The hobo gets up and stands with them at the doors and continues his one-sided conversation.
Figuring it was none of my business, I turned up my headphones, raised my hood, and buried my face into my shirt which thankfully was lightly scented with cologne. Then, as the train pulls out of one of the tunnel stations, I hear screams so loud they overpowered my headphones! I looked up to see that the doors were wide open, with the hobo nearly falling out, as the train sped out of the station and down the tunnel!! Thankfully the hobo regained his balance and got the doors to close before we reached the next station. From what I could gather in all the commotion, it would seem that someone had realized too late that the train had reached their stop, and pulled the emergency lever to make the doors open and pushed past the hobo just as the train was beginning to move. No one alerted the train operator of what had happened, so he obliviously accelerated and sped on to the next stop. Needless to say, there was relieved and shocked conversation throughout the car for the rest of the trip.

Lost: 1 pink vibrator.

To those of you who take either the Brown Line or the Red Line north of Belmont you need to keep your eyes open for the pink dildo. As you are going south on either line, just before the two seperate lines converge into one there is a building with a roof that is roughly at track level. I believe it is the building next to the one with the big Harris Bank billboard on the side. Anyway, take a gander down o