Tell us your crazy commuting tales

If you ride public transportation on a regular basis, you have a story.

A story about that crazy lady yelling Bible verses. About the sleeping guy who smells like he hadn't taken a bath in weeks. About the rude ticket agent. About the woman fighting with her boy friend on the cell phone.

And we all want to hear them.

Click on "Comments" below this post (or scroll down below the last comment) and tell us your story. I'll make separate posts of the good ones.

Comments

[Cheryl]

Mucho weirdness on the way home yesterday. I stopped at the Dominicks at Fullerton (this has little to do with transit, but it was still funny) and there was a guy inside handcuffed to a pole. Turns out he works there, he had called the police on some shoplifters, they got there and cuffed him by mistake. And then they couldn't get the cuffs off. I tried not to laugh too loud.

Then, when I left the store I saw a Lincoln bus coming, so I hopped on rather than climb the stairs again. A couple of stops later, this guy gets on who just doesn't look right. He sits a few seats away, but in a seat that faces into the bus rather than forward. He pulls out a Bible. And a sock puppet. I'm assuming it was a sock puppet, and not just a sock. I didn't look too closely, as my number one rule of thumb is never, ever, make eye contact with crazy people. Or with whatever it is they are using as an alternate personality. The puppet proceeds to read to us (one of the Epistles, I don't know which one). The man interrupts the puppet occasionally to remark on the women he sees both on the bus and on the street. "Look at that New York woman out there. Yeah, she's New York woman, the way she's shaking her ass. You know what she wants done." is the remarks I remember, but it was all along that line. Everyone on the bus ignored him, including the driver and the guy from the CTA standing behind the driver, teaching him the route.

[Matthew]

A group of high school students get on the Blue Line at Jackson after coming up from the tunnel. The car that pulls in front of them has the "butterfly" style doors. Two of the girls in the group think that they are so cool, watching them open and close at every stop. When they exit at Clark/Lake, they stay and wait to see the doors close one last time, saying, "That is so pimp".

[Toby]

I am not sure how many of you have seen "Collateral" with Tom Cruise and Jamie Foxx. There is a quote from that movie that has much relevance in tonight’s experience:

“Vincent- 17 million people. This is got to be the fifth biggest economy in the world and nobody knows each other. I read about this guy who gets on the MTA here, dies.

Max- Oh.

Vincent- Six hours he's riding the subway before anybody notices his corpse doing laps around L.A., people on and off sitting next to him. Nobody notices.” -(IMDL)

So after an utterly exhausting work day I am standing up in the last car of a northbound Redline train. We had just exited the underground section and was passing Fullerton when a clearly distressed woman comes from the front of the car and asks me as calmly as she could muster for me to please move away from the intercom button so that she could message the conductor.

As she struggles to get the CTA’s attention, she looks to me, about to cry, saying there is a man, in what looks to me in his mid to late 60s, in the front of the car unresponsive, deathly pale and all together not looking to be in good shape. She exchanges a few words with the conductor, is put on hold, and looks to me, shaking, saying she has no idea if she is doing the right thing. It’s the middle of rush-hour, half the city is trying to get home right now and here is this poor lady stopping a train because she thinks this guy might be bad off. I don’t envy her position in the least.

So after conversing with the CTA, she stands by me and we start to talk. She is on the verge of tears and I try my best to reassure her that she did the right thing. We finally stop at Addison and wait a painstakingly long time for the EMTs to arrive. The entire time I am reassuring this poor woman that she has done the right thing; that she was brave for doing what she did and that this person probably owes his life to you (if he indeed survived). I did not try to physically help the guy because it was already determined that he had some form of a pulse and the medics had to be close. She kept on saying, “What if he’s just drunk? I would have stopped this train for nothing.” He did not smell of alcohol and with my experiences with dealing with people with alcohol poisoning I assured her that this was not the case.

We are asked to exit the car as the medics arrive, walk to the next car down, and we wait. They did not end up pulling this guy out on a stretcher for twenty minutes so I am assuming they either had to stabilize…or they were figuring out a way to get this guy down the platform without alerting the entire crowd that he was dead. He left with the medics pumping him with a resuscitator. None of us know what his condition was leaving the train.

So in the end we were on the platform for 40 minutes I would estimate. They almost shut down that train completely and had us move to another train. Eventually, however, they told us to go back on and we finally headed north.

The nice lady I spent those 40 minutes with had to quickly scamper off the train to pick up her children from daycare (which, incidentally, she was late for and thus would have to pay a fee).

I’m not really phased by dead bodies at this point, but my interactions with this lady has really put me in a strange place tonight. It’s hard to describe. Somewhere between mellow and forlorn....but I can’t put my finger on it. I guess I’m just processing it all.

Nevertheles...to the lady I regret I never got your name...I salute you. God knows how long that guy had been on that train in that condition. It’s nice to meet a hero in a city this large. I consider you just that.

[BeautyQueen PARIS]

Bonjour!
Few nights ago around 9pm I was going home (N).
There was a guy who board the train.
He took some newspapers out of his bag . Then he made a hat out of a piese of that newspaper. He covered his head and looked around with a very happy smile on his face. Then he asked me if I wanted one too. I just nodded my head-- meaning 'no'. But he couldn't stop his will which provoked him to ask other passangers in the train too. Gradually and successfully he could hand out paper hats to five to seven people which he was making right there. He felt so happy.
Looking at how happpy he was I smiled at him. He offered me one more time and I just accepted it without arguing.
The wierd thing about this guy was that he never uttered a single word out of him mouth, all he communicated is through gestures. .
Anyhoo, it was a time full of fun and a little secret. I don't where he came from and neither I know where he went after that. I know not the reason why he did so. Overall he made my day.

By looks he seems around 27, an educated person, a student from some school.
I guess he was doing some study on "BELIEF" that how much we trust random people in todays world.

I had fun. Did you get to experience that too?

Merci,
Beauty Queen -PARIS

[Camerondavid]

As I was boarding the Grand bus at Sacramento this morning, the doors opened onto an older woman dressed in a rather eclectic style, otherwise known as dumpster-chic. She was screaming at the male bus driver, saying "In yo' church, bitch!" She was quite irritated and refused to leave the bus, continuing to shout her sacred slander at our confused driver. Finally, she exited with a huff and began tottering down the street, all the while muttering "In yo' church....bitch." It put a smile on my face and my coffice is a better place this morning because of it. Thanks crazy lady.

[robin..]

We've all heard it, over the loudspeakers: "Solicitation on CTA trains is prohibited; violaters will be arrested." Sure, panhandling can be troublesome, but it's not sinister, like what I saw this morning. Solicitation? Maybe. Completely insulting? Without doubt.

I ride the brown line from Western to Chicago during rush hour. At Fullerton, an eye-catching gent gets on the train, cell phone pressed to his ear. He wears grey pants, a blue zippered hoodie, and a black backpack. There is a large white logo on the left breast of the hoodie, and a smaller one on his backpack. Aaaand...his face is painted blue. From hairline to jawline. Blue Man Group blue. Bears fan blue. I don't recall any major sporting events today, but maybe I've missed something. So, like a good little city mouse, I ignore him and his blue face. He enters at the opposite end of the car from me, but at Armitage, he moves to the doors nearest me. He's yapping away on his cell phone, which is annoying enough, but as he contrives to turn completely around in the unoccupied doorway, I can finally read his logos: "Talk Until You're Blue in the Face, with U.S. Cellular."

This makes things more interesting and more distressing. Not only is he a complete dink, he's being paid to be a complete dink. Not only is his yapping intruding on my aural landscape, but his yapping constitutes an ad.

His conversation (is it one-sided? is he talking to himself? is he a marginally-employed actor??!) sounds mundane enough: "No, man, I didn't even know she was his sister. Not like she was his girl or something. Well, she's awfully cute." Then, at a no-doubt pre-scripted spot--once casual eavesdroppers are sure to be hooked by the mini-drama between two friends, a third friend, and that friend's sister--he says "Naw, don't worry about it, brah, I've got free incoming calls with this thing. Yeah, and they gave me a sweet phone, too. Yeah, we could walkie-talkie. Even takes pictures." The ad portion of his broadcast concludes with "No, I took no naked pictures of his sister with it." He gets off at Sedgwick, just as I am resolved to shoving him off the train when the doors open.

Okay, so, on the one hand, this is brilliant guerilla marketing, the likes of which I usually associate with underground theatre. On the other, it's absolute co-opting of that kind of whisper-campaign, word-of-mouth advertising that can really make a product move. Do they think they're clever? Do they think we don't get it? Aren't they concerned with the (assumed) fact that this isn't allowed on the CTA, and their man might get ejected or arrested, as the annoucements promise?

Then, distressingly, I wonder if this is NOT the "solicitation" the CTA deems illegal, but if the transit authority, strapped for cash as it publically is, accepted money from U.S. Cellular to allow the company's shill on the train to pose as a satisfied customer who, out of the joy he gets from his phone, pitches a phone service to his buddy on the line and everyone in earshot.

I don't mind if they sell the sides of trains, the turnstiles, or the walls. Like all millenial gen-Xers, I'm so used to constant visual intrusion that signage is wasted on me. But can the CTA really offer up its atmosphere--the soundwaves in its cars--to the highest bidder?

Clearly, I'm going to never ever spend any money with U.S. Cellular--and encourage my friends to boycott as well--because of the intrusion and stupidity of having an actor in blue-face pimp their phone during my commute, but I want more action. I want to know if the CTA is complicit in this crappy ad campaign. If they aren't, I want them to come out against this kind of activity on their buses and trains. If they are, however, I want the riders to rise up and demand that the soundscape of the CTA remain unsold.

Help me, tattler; you're my only hope. We've got to blow the lid off this.

[jk1]

Robin -

Please, please, please post your tale on Carole Brown's blog at ctachair.blogspot.com

I very curious to see if she will respond...

It's been confirmed that she is aware of the CTA Tattler, but if you post on her site there is no way she can claim ignorance.

[Rebecca]

Saturday I was on the #4 Cottage Grove bus headed downtown, and this guy on the bus was talking nonsense non-stop. First he was reciting some rhymes ("Roses are red/Violets are blue/George Bush's wife/Looks like she was born in a zoo"), punctuated with incomprehensible shouts. Then he launched into a long treatise about how much he loves Whoopi Goldberg and how he doesn't care what other people think, he thinks she's beautiful and would marry her if he could. Then he actually starts shouting his wedding vows to Whoopi: "Do you, [unintelligible], take Whoopi to be your wife, through sickness and health--yes, I do!--for richer for poorer--yes, I do!--'til death do you part--yes, I do!" It was quite entertaining.

[wrecks]

Last week I got on the brown line going home- northbound on a weeknight at the end of the usual rush. There was a man standing in the mostly full car, in front of an empty seat, talking on his cell phone. So I sat in another, less desirable seat (not facing forward) thinking "he is about to sit down."

Two stops later, he still had not sat down.

What he was doing was walking halfway down the car and coming back to stand in front of the empty seat. You know, the way people on cell phones like to pace, but I don't think I have seen this behavior on a *moving* train car before. (He continued to pace and never did sit down.)

So, during one of his forays away from the empty seat I quickly switch to it. Now in my new seat, there is a woman sitting next to me talking on her cell phone about her 'bad stomach problems.' I am thinking how annoying these people are when the train stops at the platform, the doors open and I can hear the conductor say "Step up- step up- people on cell phones step up."

Perfectly timed!

[AOK]

I'm a regular rider of the #147 Michigan Express. Last night after waiting at the Delaware stop while 3 packed busses passed by without stopping, I walked south the Chicago Avenue stop hoping to be able to get on there.

After 2 busses, definitely not full, passed the stop by I finally banged on the door of one that got stuck at the red light.

He definitely didn't want to engage me (and he didn't let me on), but he finally told me that the Chicago stop has been eliminated from the #147 bus route. There are no announcements to this effect on the bus, at the bus stop (that I saw) or even on the CTA website. They simply eliminated the stop and didn't tell anybody. I was not the only one waiting at that stop for the #147.

Why did the CTA not feel it necessary to tell customers about the elimination of a major stop on the bus line and why have no updates been made to the schedule posted on their website?

[Cheryl]

It was posted at the corner of Chicago and Michigan when they first stopped stopping at that corner. It's only northbound, and bus service will resume at that corner sometime in November, when whatever it is they're doing to MichAv north of there is finished.

[manda]

I’m starting to think I must give off “talk to me, I won’t hurt you vibes” to CTA passengers. I ride the blue line twice a day (Grand to Cumberland); try not to have any contact with my fellow commuters. I like it this way. I enjoy staring off into space or reading my book. But without fail if there’s anyone on the platform/bus station/train car/ bus who needs directions or a date I’m the one they ask. Why me? I don’t know, but have come to accept this as my cross to bear.

Yet yesterday I must have been look particularly friendly. As I wait at the Cumberland station for my train home at about 5pm, staring blankly out at the traffic on 90, this lost looking 20 something points to the system map and asks if the area he’s pointing to is the loop. (Now I’m amused by this but used to people on this end of the blue not knowing where they are going.) He explains that he’s new to the city and never been on the CTA before. I tell him that yes, he’s on the right side of the platform, and he wants to take the inbound train. No problem, just another day helping the clueless. I should get myself a cape and theme song.

Less than 2 minutes later, this slightly drunken 30 something white sox fan (decked out head to toe in Whites Sox gear) comes down the escalator and towards me. The following conversation ensues:

Drunken White Sox Guy (DWSG) “WHAT’S YOUR NAME?!?” he scream/slurs as he grabs my hand and breathes fumes in my face, gold tooth glinting in the light of the CTA platform heater.

Significant pause, Me “Umm Mary.” Which was the best I could come up with while this random man is still holding my hand. Clueless 20something looks over.

DWSG “My name is XXXX, You’ve got real pretty nails.” Umm ok, I bite my nails and don’t have any at all, but to each his own. “Are your toes painted pretty too?”
Me “Umm no.” Again, my nails aren’t painted, but apparently he couldn’t tell in his drunken state. He finally lets go of my hand. The clueless 20 something is looking at me as though he would like to intervene. I’m in the process of reaching for the canister of mace in my jacket pocket, just in case.

DWSG “So you gonna watch the World Series game tonight?”

Me “No.” Also not true, but I could see where my new drunken friend was going with this. At this point I’m just praying for train to show.

DWSG “Why not?”

Me “I don’t care about baseball.” And I’m thinking where the hell is the damn train. The clueless 20something is still watching me and my DWSG sympathetically.

DWSG “Oh, the way you said that you sounded like a Cubs fan.” Clearly implying that Cubs fans are a BAD thing. Boy was I glad that I went the I don’t like baseball route vs. the GO CUBBIES route. The DWSG grabs my hand again. “So you’re a real pretty lady and do you think maybe I can get your number and we could kick it sometime?”

At this point I’m getting annoyed, though I saw it coming. I’ve got the mace in my hand, but don’t want to do anything since at this point the DWSG is just annoying not threatening. The clueless 20something stands up and inches over towards me, clearly wanting to help without getting beat up. Damn it where is the train!?!

Me “No, sorry, my boyfriend wouldn’t like that.”

DWSG drops my hand “Oh, is he white?”

Me “No” Now let me point out that the DWSG was black. I’m white. And my boyfriend is actually not white. But the point is why the hell did it matter? Did my DWSG friend think that if my bf wasn’t white then he could get my number? Did he want to accuse me of being a racist bitch that only dates white guys? Did he really think I was gonna just give my # to some random guy on the train platform? Inquiring minds want to know.

DWSG “Well you’re real pretty and we could have had a good time watching the game tonight.” And he stumbles on down the platform.

The clueless 20something looks at me “You alright?”
Me “ Yeah, welcome to the CTA.”

And finally the train comes. .

[Craig]

I was on the red line a while ago, on a relatively full car, heading from Howard to Chicago/State. I couldn't help but notice what the guy across the aisle from me was doing. He was approximately 22-24, and by the looks of what he was reading, a collegiate business student.

The book he was reading seemed to have lost his attention, as he started drawing... on the window.... with earwax. I watched silently (while trying to remain inconspicuous) as he would stick his pinky in his ear, fish around for 10 seconds or so, come out with a batch of earwax, smell it (to check for quality, I guess) and then continue his masterpiece.

By the time he got off at Fullerton, he had drawn a pair of stick figures, who seemed to be enjoying some sort of sexual position, as one stick figure was bent over, and the other was standing behind, obviously enjoying himself (you could tell by the large smile on his face). Ahh... the beauty that is urban art.

[Cec]

CTA deserves some praises after my experience this morning.

I was daydreaming on the Red Line southbound going into Fullerton. I had to transfer to the Brown there as I do every morning. The doors opened and I got startled and bolted up to exit the car. After the doors closed behind me and the train was on its way, I realized I had dropped my wallet in the train as I left my seat. It was fresh with new $20s the ATM gave me yesterday, not to mention the other necessities of life.

I approached the control booth to find the CTA man I always see on the Fullerton platform. He's usually walking around the platform taking a lot of notes about the trains going in and out. I let him know that I had left my wallet on the train that just left.

Over the next 10 minutes, as two Brown Line trains and a Red Line were in and out of Fullerton, he radioed some people, radioed other people, made some calls, and before I knew it, as the second Red Line train approached, he said to get on it, get off at Clark/Division, and the lady at the control booth will have my wallet.

I'm still not sure how they did it. But I am thankful that they pulled it off. I'm wondering if any commuters were involved in giving the wallet to a CTA employee. Nonetheless, I got my wallet back, with all my money still in it (I think there's even a little more). Thanks to the employees at the Fullerton and Clark/Division stops. And thanks to the conductors and/or commuters taht saved me a lot of stress and heartache.

[Cec]

CTA deserves some praises after my experience this morning.

I was daydreaming on the Red Line southbound going into Fullerton. I had to transfer to the Brown there as I do every morning. The doors opened and the words "This is Fullerton" woke me up from my daydream. I bolted up to exit the car. After the doors closed behind me and the train was on its way, I realized I had dropped my wallet in the train as I left my seat. It was fresh with new $20s the ATM gave me yesterday, not to mention some other necessities of life.

I approached the control booth to find the CTA man I always see on the Fullerton platform. He's usually walking around the platform taking a lot of notes about the trains going in and out. I let him know that I had left my wallet on the train that just left.

Over the next 10 minutes, as two Brown Line trains and a Red Line were in and out of Fullerton, he radioed some people, radioed other people, made some calls, and before I knew it, as the second Red Line train approached, he said to get on it, get off at Clark/Division, and the lady at the control booth will have my wallet.

I'm still not sure how they did it. But I am thankful that they pulled it off. I'm wondering if any commuters were involved in giving the wallet to a CTA employee. Nonetheless, I got my wallet back, with all my money still in it (I think there's even a little more). Thanks to the employees at the Fullerton and Clark/Division stops. And thank you to the conductors and/or commuters that saved me a lot of stress and heartache.

[Alexis J. Jones]

Everytime I ride the #4 Cottage Grove bus (and I ride it regularly), the buses are always DIRTY!! These buses need to be cleaned up. There's litter and dirt on the floors everywhere. I wish the damn C.T.A. would do more about these buses.

[Alexis J. Jones]

On 2 July 2004, between the hours of 6:30 and 7:15 p.m., as my mother and I got off a free Chicago trolley bus at Navy Pier, we boarded a #66 Chicago bus, bus #6713 going west. As we boarded, some white or Spanish guy told us that someone had vomited in the back of the bus. As we rode, she said that she wanted to get off the bus, while he continued to tell everybody the same thing until we got off at Chicago and Michigan. We finally transferred to the #146 route, bus #7621 going south, and fortunately, the bus was completely spotless (clean).

[Hayley]

In case you're all wondering where the CTA's money runs off to: The majority of our office gets CTA passes through our employer, via the pre-tax incentive thingy. Today, a large box arrived filled with CTA-themed care packages for everyone - an insulated lunch sack, leatherette card sleeve, January 2004 system map &, the clear winner, a CTA pen with a little bus that floats past a very Chris Ware-ish skyline. It's a #66 bus, for anyone keeping track at home.

Cute, but suspect, especially when CTA's crying poor...

[Cheryl]

Hey! We get Chicago Cards through the transit benefit--where's our free stuff?

[mark]

A humourous start to my commute home on Halloween... a guy in a banana costume being chased by a guy in a gorilla costume on the Red Line Washington platform.

[mark]

A humourous start to my commute home on Halloween... a guy in a banana costume being chased by a guy in a gorilla costume on the Red Line Washington platform.

[cmama]

This past saturday, I was taking the green line east to the city around 8am-ish. When I boarded the train I noticed a person really tired sitting in the first row of the middle of the train. He was wearing a reflective vest and looked pretty tired. I sat 3 rows behind him and didn't notice til the next stop that he was one of the Securitas dog handlers and his dog was laid out under the seat behind him. He didn't have to move his dog cause there were only a hand full of people in the car the whole trip. A few minutes later he was laughing with a man that boarded the train about the other securitas dog handler at the front of the car with his dog, both of them knocked out sleep. The whole entire the trip, the first dog I saw was laid under the seat mostly resting. When I was getting off at my stop, I finally saw the other dog handler and his dog. He was in the forward facing seat behind hobo corner with his head cocked back knocked out sleep. His dog was in the middle of the aisle, laying on its side, head all the way back, and if the muzzle was off it's face I'm pretty sure its tongue would have been sticking out. All you could do was laugh. I don't know where they were coming from, but it was pretty good feeling to see these dogs were protecting my safety on my trip.

[DCE]

I’m running late. I’m always running late. Heading South to go North by virtue of CTA rail architecture adds a layer of psychological discomfort to it all.

But the train is there! I’ll just make it!

I run across the rain slicked platform, up the stairs and over the bridge to the opposite side of the station.

Bing-Bong “Doors Closing.”

I dive. My fingers hook on the rubber seal of the door and I haul myself in.

A man behind me shouts “Purple!”

Everything slows down. Time freezes in Matrix fashion as I use every fiber of my scant musculature to reverse momentum and throw myself out of the car. The thought of an irrevocable trip up to Howard gives me a momentary surge of strength and dexterity. I can lift cars. Pull a 747 jet with my teeth.

As the train pulls away, I’m on my ass. Cold rainwater seeps into my pants. I look up to a small, rotund man with thick glasses.

“I thought maybe you wanted the Brown line” he says.

I rise, clasp his shoulder and reply “Thank you”.

If I didn’t think it’d make him uncomfortable I’d have kissed him, perhaps even slipping in a little tongue.

[Scott]

A 60ish man with grey hair and mustache, dressed in a crisply pressed shortsleeved dress shirt and slacks, boarded the southbound Red Line at Thorndale late yesterday afternoon (a Friday) and sat in front of me. He had the first forward-facing seat next to the inward-facing priority seating and proceeded to take a stack of newspapers out of a bag and placed them on the empty priority seat. Out of the same bag, with very precise, confident movements, he pulled a pair of off-white latex surgical gloves and donned them.

He then proceeded to process the Sun-Times, Wall Street Journal, Red Eye, and New York Times in the following manner:

He would pick up a paper and methodically pull out a section with his gloved hands. I could tell he was using some sort of system for evaluating each article, and when he had done this for both sides of a page, he turned the page forcefully, almost deliberately crumpling part of it as his gaze moved to the next page. When it became clear that an article met his private criteria, he neatly slid the whole sheet containing the article out of the paper and folded it crisply down to about letter size, and then filed it carefully in another bag he had on the floor next to his legs. The remaining sheets of each section went to a stack on the empty seat to his left.

He seemed to linger on religion-related items and then pull them out for folding and filing: Cathleen Falsani's Friday religion column in the Sun-Times; a review of a new book about Jesus from the New York Times. But he selected a variety of general news articles as well. I couldn't detect any other patterns.

His folding was precise not only in terms of creating a razor-edge crease with the tip of his gloved index finger and thumb but also in terms of aligning the corners of the pages perfectly.

By the time he finished, he had an insanely perfect, neat little stack of selected articles, no doubt folded with the beginning of the article facing the same way on each, and finished by picking up what was left of the Sun-Times and painstakingly realigning the sheets before putting it on the stack of castoffs.

I kept watching, trying not to stare too hard, because it was highly entertaining and because this process appealed to an OCD part of my brain. Then I wondered whether he was doing this task for himself or was perhaps...yeah! That's it! A butler or some such personal assistant. He was preparing the evening reading based on instructions he had been given, right?

Or...perhaps he is in the habit of reading the papers every evening on arrival at home but tries not to be distracted by advertising. By systematically perusing the papers for articles he knows he will read, then casting off the rest of the papers (presumably they went into a blue recycling bin), he exposes his eyes to only a bare minimum of adverts.

But whatever his purpose, he certainly arrived at his destination with clean hands and good reading material.

[cmama]

We can all breath a sigh of relief. The police caught the 3 teenagers who have been commiting robberies on the Green line. But I have to say, the one kid was pretty dumb. He confessed to dozens more robberies than the police have recorded. If I was ever dumb enough to commit a crime like that I think I'd only cop to the ones they have recorded :) I'm not that advanced in doing the internet links, but you guys can figure out how to get the news online.

Cheers!

[Jasmine]

Another rambly story.

Monday night. Instead of my usual evening commute home to Logan Square (with a quick stop at Arturo's for some tacos al pastor and a horchata the size of my head) on the Milwaukee Avenue bus (#56), I'm on the Halsted Street bus (#8) to Lincoln Park to get a $15 pedicure and overpriced groceries at Whole Paycheck.

At Halsted and Chicago, the bus acquires two new passengers: a shaggy hipster-looking fellow with a messenger bag, beard, and iPod, and a bird thin woman of indeterminate age wearing a pair of bedroom slippers on her feet. The woman requires some assistance from the hipster to get her groceries, which are packed into a stroller, onto the bus. A gallon of milk hangs off each handle. As the bus lurches along, the woman tries to move towards the back but finds that the milk jugs make it impossible to do so. She settles down at the front, mowing over some folks feet, making her apologies and talking at the temporarily awe-struck tweenage boys who remove their iPods to talk to her. I say talking at because they seemed too shocked or surprised to respond.

At Halsted and Hooker (aka the Greyhound station), we get three more passengers: a young tired mother and her two toddlers, a boy and a girl, in a double stroller. Somehow, she manages to get on, kids and everything, without any help. The woman with the milk-laden stroller moves out of her way so that the seats up front can be flipped up and the toddlers can be parked safely.

The toddlers are not happy, screaming and hollering much to everyone's concern. That's right, I said "concern" and not "dismay". Everybody that I could see seemed genuinely upset that the kids were upset. Mom sang some silly songs, talked to the first lady with her own stroller, and sang more songs. The tweenage boys made cute faces at the kids (who were, by the way, really cute), who calmed down after all that positive attention. The children then proceeded to charm the pants off every passenger with whom they made eye contact before disembarking at Halsted and North with their mom.

It was really lovely.

[go-light]

Does anyone know anything about the raccoon in the cage at the Brown Line Chicago stop? Right by the stairs in the area by the dumpster, I came across a little cage tucked away from sight with a full grown raccoon sitting in it. Anyone?

[BlueBum]

On the red line between Wilson and Sheridan southbound a person has up several pieces of printer paper each with a different letter on it spelling out.... Everyone Poops. It is in the windows on the building right before the train turns to the sheridan stop. I guess someone wants us all to know what everyone else on the train does too!

[BobWohsedis]

I was riding the Clark 22 bus north on a recent Sunday afternoon and overheard two women talking, at least one of which I noticed was wearing a Lincoln Park Zoo jacket. One remarked (with all seriousness) that she felt bad for a resident female howler monkey, apparently in heat, that was having some trouble with an unresponsive male. The woman proceeded to tell how the female monkey was “presenting” to the male, going as far as to rub its rear in the male’s face, yet apparently the male wanted none of that.

Yep, sounds like a typical Linclon Park Saturday night...

[Leo]

More of a question ... what happened this morning (8:30 AM 16 November 2005) on the Green line? I was waiting for the train at Clark and Lake. There were about six CTA guys on the track where the Green, Brown, and Loop intersect. There was some sort of announcement (muffled by train running at the same time). The train waited at the intersection for at least 10 minutes. I checked the CTA alerts thing and didn't see anything till after 10AM. I wish they would use those boards to tell more than date and time.

[cmama]

I know some of you may not find this funny, but it gave me an upper this morning. I know many of us need a little inspiration to make it through a boring, tiring day at work so what did this guy do for motivation? He had headphones playing songs, but not just any song...."Eye of the Tiger" from Rocky. It cracked me up, but I do have to say, I'm pretty inspired to do my best at work today....

[LadyDay]

This morning on the way to work...middle aged, balding, overweight white guy in a suit. He's listening to his ipod and as usual it's at a volume that allows half the passengers in that car to clearly hear what he's jamming out to. What was he listening to? "Nasty Boys" by Janet Jackson...he was dancing away in his seat, mouthing the words and everything...I cracked a smile trying hard not to laugh out loud!

[Cheryl]

The absolutely stunning woman driving the 148 south to the Loop this morning had a hoarde of male commuters standing around in the front of the bus, even though there were plenty of seats. This is the first time ever I've had difficulty boarding/exiting a bus because of standing people blocking the door.

[Brian]

So I was riding the Blue Line out towards O'Hare from the loop last week, and there was just a disgusting smell, I mean DISGUSTING, coming from someone/thing on the train. I looked around to see a homeless person passed out, laying on one of the seats. Now, I've never worked in a hospital or morgue or anything, but I would swear on my life that this person was dead. The smell was like a combination of fermented urine (why do I know what that THAT smells like? Because I've smelled it on one of the CTA elevators...), rotten eggs, vinegar, and the bottom of ten dumpsters put together...with a hint of stink bomb. It was bad...but after a while I realized this person wasn't dead because upon further inspection (from my seat on the other side of the car), through the process of elimination, it must have been he or she who was putting out that ear-piercing snoring. I mean snoring that you just want to beat the person...it was loud from where I was sitting - on the other end of the car!! But the funniest part, though, is as I was getting off the train, I took a closer look at him/her, and he/she must have been there for a looong time, because it seems that frustrated passengers showed their dislike by throwing their garbage at him. He was full of candy wrappers, McDonals bags, and best of all, there was a cupcake wrapper balanced on his head!!!

[Joel]

This would be around April/May of '05. I just transfered off of the blue and was standing at the redline platform @ Jackson. I'm a little drunk and so I'm using those big red columns that look like girders as support. As I'm in the midst of a daydream this man appears around the other side of my girder so as to meet me face to face. He's a well kept younger 30's yuppy type. My being drunk contributes to my willingness to talk to him, I think. And he just starts speaking as though he were resuming a previous conversation:

Him: ...so I'm, like, in this situation where I'm new to this area and I'm just coming from (some club) on my way home and I'm not really into the whole, like, club scene thing. But, I'm on my way back to my condo and all and so I guess what I'm asking is if you would be willing to take off your shoes and put your socks on my face while I gratify myself.

Me: ...

Him: I mean I'm not really into hooking up at clubs and

Me: Wait a mintue (I start laughing). You want me to stand on your face while you jack off?

[People around us at Jackson start looking and/or moving away]

Me: Chicago's big with the gay community. I'm sure there's a lot of folks up north who are into that. Who would actually be gay.

Him: Yeah, I know it's just that I'm new and all and you just looked like a nice guy. I promise I'm not some twisted freak. I have a job at CNA.

Me: What about the internet?

Him: [sarcastically] Yeah, I'm an MBA student and I haven't figured out how to turn on a computer! Come on, what do you say?

Me: No.

Him: Okay, I'll pay you $10/mintue. You can just sit there watch the clock, read a magazine, what ever.

Me: No, I don't think so, but thanks.

Him: Okay, I'll give you $10/minute plus cab fare to where ever you live. How much would that be?

Me: I'm telling you it doesn't matter 'cause I'm not gonna do it. What's the deal with you?

Him: Alright. I'll pay you $20 for your socks.

Me: ...[considering making a quick $20, then]...no, sorry. [laughing]I'm not going to take my socks off in this station.

Him: Well, I live 1 block away from Barnes & Noble (on State & Jackson). We could...

I board the train and leave him there.

[Rebecca]

Last week I was standing on the Bryn Mar platform around 9:30pm waiting for the southbound redline. A young hippie-looking white girl got off the northbound train with a three black children all around the age of 4 or 5.

All of a sudden I hear her screaming a child's name over and over again. She calls over to me and asks if a saw a kid. I haven't. It becomes pretty damn obvious that she left the kid on the train. She completely lost it just screaming the child's name over and over again. Since she was pretty distraught I went over to her and said that the best thing to do was go ask the attendant downstairs to radio to the train so someone could find the missing kid.

She barely noticed that she still had three other kids with her as she dashed to the stairs... wow, I wonder how she could have lost one of her kids in the first place? Or maybe she was a babysitter and scared about having to explain to their mother that she just happened to loose one.

[Patrick]

Twenty years ago we didn't have blogs such as this but there were still plenty of CTA stories worth sharing. The following story isn't mine but when I read it in the Reader in the early 80's (I think it was the column called "Reader to Reader") I clipped it out. All these years later I still have it and it still makes me laugh so I thought I would share. If anyone knows the person who originally wrote this, please thank them for my lifetime of laughs.

On a crowded southbound 36 bus last Wednesday, the little girl in front of me was trying in vain to get the attention of her mother, whose T-shirt read "Don't Ask Me 4 Shit". From a plastic handbag the woman took out a wooden spoon with pieces of orange yarn glued to the top and a magic-markered smiley face in the concave. Thinking this was a toy for the girl to occupy herself with I was surprised when instead the woman held the spoon in her lap. Then I noticed the words written down the handle....."Mr. Spanker".

[Gabriel]

I work very early and am on the Red Line at Bryn Mawr around 4:30 am alot, so I see alot of crap at that time. Some people are awake and going about their day, and slightly more people are passed out, shoes off, spread across like 4 seats, and reeking of piss/liquor. Good times, I think as I get off on Sheridan, I wonder what delights await riders further down. Happy riding!!!

[Ryan]

I recently blogged about my wife's discovery of a literal pile of excrement she encountered.
I posted a picture at my blog: http://ijab.blogspot.com

[Nat]

It seems that if you are weird on the train, you cannot hear people talk about you. I have been knitting a scarf on the 67 bus and Red Line. When i put on my hat today, the girls behind me were discussing whether or not i had just made that hat. Then the girl next to me tells them, no i was working on a scarf. They did not agree. I turned around and told them i made the hat last year, and yes, i am working on a scarf now. When i got up to get off the bus, one girl says to the other, "she's always making something on the bus..." heh.

[Cheryl]

Last night I got on 146 NB and there were seats all around this one woman but people were standing. This is a sure sign of craziness, but she didn't look all that crazy, nor did she smell bad, so I took a seat across the aisle. Turns out she was getting off at my stop. When she got up, she plopped a dog sweater on her head and ambled for the door. I thought about just staying on the bus for one more stop, but hell, it was cold, I wanted to get home. So I got off too. While the two of us were waiting for our connecting bus, she admitted she thought she'd picked up her hat, not her dog's sweater, that morning, but decided to wear it anyway because it was just too damn cold to not put something on her head. I suggest if she put her hood up, it wouldn't look quite so nuts and would be even warmer. She was really quite nice, and lives near me. I think I may have made a new friend. One who wears dog sweaters on her head.

[KD]

Of course most people's commutes were snagged a bit due to the snow. So I leave work and head to my usual Chicago stop to catch a Brown Line downtown. Well the Brown Line was running a little late and I had to get going to catch a Metra train at Union Station. So a Purple comes along and I settle for that. As I am sitting on the train, I notice a girl quickly change her mind about being on the train and wanted off. As she goes to the door, they start to close. She is smashed in between them struggling just to get in or out. She ended up stuck on the train with the rest of us. I had a little chuckle, but not too obvious.
On that same train I notice there is a man in the back of the train car wearing a red sweater and jeans. That's fine, but then I realize he is sporting a serious santa beard (REAL) and wearing a santa hat. Now, I wouldn't have thought he looked like santa had he not had the hat on. I wonder if he just got off work as a santa but he didn't have a coat on or anything. Poor santa.
Some of my co-workers had some pretty horrid experiences too. One rode the Grand bus home and there were lots of cockroaches in the back of the bus, even baby ones AND it took her almost an hour to get home. An hour stuck on a crowded bus with cockroaches, that is like a bad dream. One other person rode the Blue Line home and one lady wouldn't move out of the way for people to stand comfortably and a homeless man ended up pressed against him for the duration of his trip. Ah the sweet cooperation of fellow riders.

[jennie]

did anyone else hear about the guy who died on the el today? i read about it on craigslist http://chicago.craigslist.org/rnr/116945506.html
i bet this kind of thing happens more often than we will ever know...

[Justin]

I am a little confused as to where I was this evening. Was I on the Peterson bus at the Bryn Mawr station or was I on one of several other busses at the berwyn Red Line station. Actually I was on the Peterson #84 bus which for some reason has a major typo on their announcement system. Here is a semi decent picture of the sign. http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y124/BLuebummer/cta%20pictures/where.jpg

[John]

O.K., here's the scene. It's around 5:30 and it's the middle of rush hour. I'm on a very crowded Brown Line. I'm sitting in the "side way seats" right next to the doors. You know, the ones that face the aisle. Next to me is this person all bundled up in her winter coat, so the seating is a bit tight.

I'm pretty much pressed up against the silver barrier between my seat and the door. Those who ride the "L" frequently, know that there's a small space between the silver barrier and the glass partition.(see picture to the left) Anyway, since it was tight and there was nobody standing behind the separation, I placed my arm in there like and arm rest.

All is fine for a few stops till this middle aged guy wearing an I-Pod slides in and leans up against the partition. There are seats, but He's one of these guys that takes a half step into the car and stops. He then starts pushing my arm out forcefully with his ass! I mean, He's gotta feel my elbow hanging over the edge but yet he's forcefully pushing against it. I sit firm and try my best to hold my position and give no resistance. He briefly stops and then suddenly bounces his ass against my elbow again in a sort of sneak attack. I'm annoyed by the commute as it is, so my patience being short I say; "Get your ass off my arm." Everybody else looks at me but him. His I-Pod playing away. He's relentless and keeps a steady push back on my elbow. I withdraw for a moment only to quickly thrust my pointed elbow into the small of his back and repeat; "Get you ass off my arm." He then looks at me in shock and says; "What?" I-Pod still in play. I don't say anything but give him a cold stare and put my arm back. Without saying anything else and looking a bit scared, he saunters over to the over side and pulls out a book.

Who are these people that push and pry themselves onto others and think it's O.K.? Are they the only ones riding the "L"? Are they that pompous that they think they can literally push someone out of the way? I'm all for CTA etiquette but this guy was over the top and when push came to shove....He needed a push back. Butt out buddy and get real. You're riding public transportation. If you choose not to sit, you need to be conscience of where you stand.

[cmama]

lets just hope the CTA doesn't follow NY's transit system. Good thing I'm not that far from a Metra line.

[Brad]

Where are the signs on the buses that there are going to be no cash transfers starting 1/1? There needs to be a big sign on every fare box. I pity the poor drivers who will have to deal with all of the angry people expecting a transfer when they put in their $2. The CTA is doing a POOR job of communication on the buses for the fare structure change, although I saw they did put signs on the train entrances where you insert your card.

[Dave]

Today (12/23) was very colorful on the blue line, where the NB trains were running VERY LATE. THere just happened to be trains not moving far up to Clark/Lake because there was a signal malfunction when approaching the station (all of the signals were Red, whereas the next signal while leaving is green then yellow).

So we're talking about, at the 3pm hour, trains going at 12-20 minute intervals (because I had gotten off Clark, and missed the first train 10 minutes later...had to wait another 20 for the next). The next train that appeared stopped. then went. then stopped. then proceeded. this happened two more times. I get on, albeit the train (8-car set) became very crowded. It got worse by the time we reached Division.

By the time we reached division where virtually the train was at capacity, the driver announced "express to jeff park", as that was a relief to everyone. Although virtually everyone wasn't paying attention, me, being the "voice of public announcing where the conductor/driver wasn't being heard", yelled very loudly to the hurried passengers to get off the train.

very quick trip to Jeff, but people in the other cars kept pressing the button, as if they were not aware of the announcement made. Needless to say that the driver wasn't too happy about the buttons pressed, so she kept moving along, eventually letting those (hard-of-paying attention) off at Jeff to make wherever they need to go.

that in saying, was the fastest trip from Downtown to Rosemont that I have ever made =p

[Jon Vogel]

My partner and I were on the Red Line headed south from Howard one night recently, and a scraggly looking man in serious need of an orthodontist jumps on at Lawrence. He's blathering on his cell phone to someone.
"Yeah I'm just enjoying the freedom now, the fresh air... nah, I'm not even supposed to be on a cell phone. I can't have a computer either, nothing that downloads... It's just nice to be free after six years..."
Hmm, wonder where he's been, and what he did that he's not even supposed to have a cell phone?
We were glad to be off the train two stops later.

[Amy]

I just moved back to Ravenswood - so I'm back on the Brown Line.

2 weeks ago I transfer at Belmont and look around me. There's 3 thirtysomething women sitting in the car reading a magazine. Then I notice they are all reading the New Yorker.

I then sit down and take out my magazine - yes, The New Yorker. And I am also a thirtysomething woman.

Is the New Yorker the (un)official magazine of Brown Line riding thirtysomething women?

Not to mention my ideas of induvidualism have been thrown out the window.