CTA Tattler

H-O-R-S-E hijinks yields headache, delays

RedEmma shares this scary Tattler tale:

Here's one more for the history books: I was on my way home from work on the L Wednesday night around 10:30 pm, and these two guys, let's call them Black T-Shirt and Frat Boy, are playing a sort of truth-or-dare version of HORSE -- or dare-and-dare, really, because there certainly aren't any giggling admissions of truth going on.

No, what's happening is, Black T-Shirt is daring Frat Boy to do things (stupid things, need I specify?) or he will get an H, then an O, etc. BTS dares FB to do a backflip as the train decelerates, holding the vertical railings. BTS demonstrates. All of this is happening VERY LOUDLY, and the whole train is starting to get involved. Some people are laughing, others looking disgusted. One guy starts to keep score. I aside to my neighbor, "It's awfully drunk outside for a Wednesday."

When FB declares that he can't do a backflip, Random Bystander announces, "Then you have H! It's H to nothing! H to nothing!" FB is not a bout to take such an insult lying down, however, so he attempts a backflip and lands flat on his back, bumping his head on the floor of the train. (I'm sitting RIGHT THERE, by the way, and was seriously afraid that I was going to be clocked in the head.) He stares inertly at the ceiling for a few seconds, then starts getting up.

Now BTS says, "OK, the next girl who gets on the train, you're getting her number! (Looking around at all the other riders) None of you are gonna give us up, right?" Well, whether we would have or not, no one will ever know, because at the next stop, no one gets on. BTS is sorely disappointed. "Where are all the women?!" he yells.

"OK, do another one (backflip, that is), do another one!" he demands of his friend. And BTS demonstrates handily again. A girl at the end of the train starts protesting. A pair of very prim middle-aged ladies begin scolding.

And, of course, FB attempts the flip anyway, and once again lands flat on his back, *bouncing* his head on the floor this time. And this time, he doesn't get up. BTS brushes it off, "Oh, I've known this guy for years, we've done way stupider stuff than this; he's fine."

Someone has pushed the emergency assistance button, and the train has stopped. People begin to gather. Someone checks FB's pupils with a pen light, and they're not responding. The girl who had protested earlier begins to wail, "I told you not to do it, and now look at what's happened!" Prim Middle-Aged Ladies scold, "And what if he *dies*? What will you feel like *then*?" And BTS does, for a moment, look a bit chastened.

Somebody calls the paramedics, and passes on their strict instruction not to let FB move or be moved. One lady, who's a nurse, suggests turning FB's head to the side, so that if he vomits, he won't choke. And, I can't believe I actually thoguht this, but I swear I did, I thought, "I hope he doesn't vomit. I like these shoes."

Shortly before the paramendics came, FB regained consciousness. And there isn't a whole lot more to the story that isn't utterly predictable (paramedics wheel out FB, BTS is starting to laugh about it already, long train delay) except for this:

As we're waiting for the train to get going again, various people are offering their personal analyses (Prim MAL's: "They couldn't have *just* been drinking. I think they were *on drugs*!" Scorekeeper: "*You* were laughing at him! It's all *your* fault!") and one guy busts out with, "I'm in Chicago visiting my uncle. This is only my second time on the L!" Somebody else assured him, "Usually, people don't talk to each other this much."