CTA Tattler

Of handcuffs and sock puppets

I've been out of town on business over the last week, so I'm giving over this space to the Best reader Tattler Tales. Cheryl starts us off with a head shaker/scratcher.

Mucho weirdness on the way home yesterday. I stopped at the Dominicks at Fullerton (this has little to do with transit, but it was still funny) and there was a guy inside handcuffed to a pole. Turns out he works there, he had called the police on some shoplifters, they got there and cuffed him by mistake. And then they couldn't get the cuffs off. I tried not to laugh too loud.

Then, when I left the store I saw a Lincoln bus coming, so I hopped on rather than climb the stairs again. A couple of stops later, this guy gets on who just doesn't look right. He sits a few seats away, but in a seat that faces into the bus rather than forward. He pulls out a Bible. And a sock puppet. I'm assuming it was a sock puppet, and not just a sock.

I didn't look too closely, as my number one rule of thumb is never, ever, make eye contact with crazy people. Or with whatever it is they are using as an alternate personality.

The puppet proceeds to read to us (one of the Epistles, I don't know which one). The man interrupts the puppet occasionally to remark on the women he sees both on the bus and on the street. "Look at that New York woman out there. Yeah, she's New York woman, the way she's shaking her ass. You know what she wants done." is the remarks I remember, but it was all along that line.

Everyone on the bus ignored him, including the driver and t he guy from the CTA standing behind the driver, teaching him the route.