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April prizes: Obnoxious celler, and just plain obnoxious

I picked two short April Tattler Tales to represent the best of that month:

Split personalities

I board the Red Line going north at North And Clybourn at about 8:30 p.m. I sit next to a big, tall, fat guy talking on his cell phone.

Call No. 1: "Hi, this is Bob, the manager of the Doubletree Inn in Skokie. We would like to discuss the bed you and your five boy friends broke down when you stayed at our hotel last week. We would like to be informed about how you plan to compensate us for the cost of the bed. You have my number."

Call No. 2: "Hi, this is Jason. We were just wondering if you guys were ever going to call us again or if you're, like, avoiding us. You have my cell number is you decide to call.

Early-morning seat jostling

"Next time just knock me down!" screamed the woman to the man who beat her to an empty seat, at 7 a.m. on the Red Line.

The guy just smiled, with blue plastic rosary beads adorning his neck.

Comments

I once had a guy completely cut me off at the Clark/Lake escalator - - he dodged in front of me and I had to stop short in order not to slam into him. Of course, the woman in front of him wasn't walking up the escalator so the whole thing was pointless.

I said, "oh, excuse me, by all means, please go right ahead."

He turned around with mock surprise and innocently said, "oh, I'm sorry. I didn't see you."

"Uh, yeah, you did," I said. "You saw me and cut me off anyway. Now you'll get home two whole seconds earlier." When we reached the platform, I wished him a "passive aggressive evening."

That's terrible, but you've got to be fast in order to stay in the game. Riding the CTA is a sport, especially if there's a good seat available, specifically one good seat.

If you know you're tired at 7 A.M. or just not quick enough, sometimes it's better to just move out the way because some people DO NOT care if you're a woman, an old woman, a little girl, a pregnant woman, a little boy, an old man, a baby, a person carry bags or clearly handicapped.

Sorry, that's just the way it is sometimes!

“I once had a guy completely cut me off at the Clark/Lake escalator - - he dodged in front of me and I had to stop short in order not to slam into him. Of course, the woman in front of him wasn't walking up the escalator so the whole thing was pointless. “

M,

That’s terrible! That happens to me sometimes. When it does (I am a woman), and if it’s a man, I just pretend to let them dodge in front of me at the last second and reply, “Go ahead. Ladies first!!!”

That always makes them mad.

-T

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