A case of selective outrage
My wife contributes this Tattler Tale:
I board Purple Line headed south at about 7:30 p.m. on a Thursday. The train was crowded, but I found a seat among three men in their early 20s. They were gossiping gleefully about women whom they knew. For instance, they were talking about a woman from Rockford who didn’t know how to act on the Red Line. They said she was wearing jewelry that she shouldn’t have, carrying a purse and acting nervous, generally acting like a country bumpkin.
Their conversation was spiked with liberal use of both the F-word and the N-word. These guys weren’t threatening at all, they were just funny in their gossiping.
We all got off at Howard, the guys still talking about various women and their habits. On the platform I noticed a woman standing nearby with her five children, ranging in age from 10 to 2. One of the young men started describing a women he knew, emphasizing “her big ol’ titties. Once she came out without wearing a bra. She could have knocked you out with those things.”
The woman with kids turned around sharply and said, “Have some respect!” At this rebuke, the guy says: “Fuck you! I’m grown, and I pay my own bills. I can say whatever the fuck I want!” The woman interrupts, shouting: “I don’t want my kids to hear that kind of language.”
Then he reiterates: “I am a grownup. When you start paying your own way, you can tell your kids to not talk like me.”
“Have some respect!”
“Fuck you! Learn how to mind your business.”
Mercifully, the train arrives, and we all got on the same car.
Then the guy talks among his friends about the woman, continuing to berate her. The woman continues to ask for respect, jawing at the guys some more. Even the motorwoman got in on the act. She came out of her work space and told everyone to put a lid on it.
The woman got off at Jarvis, the next stop.
After her exit he said to his friends: “You notice she didn’t get mad until I mention the word tits. I was saying the whole time, ‘F-this and N-that,’ but she wasn’t offended till I started talking about some woman’s titties.”
We are in the midsts of the "age of entitlement". Sadly, respect and manners in today's society are as rare as a blue moon.
My wife and I encounter rudeness and lack of respect or manners all the time. Whether it being someone knocking into you at the mall and not saying anything or someone cutting in front of you in a line. Sadly, there isn't anything (legally) we can do about it but make sure our children (when we have them) learn about respect and manners just like our parents taught us.
Posted by: TËKKŸ | July 18, 2006 at 08:46 AM
I comepletely agree. I was once on the Brown Line headed home when I saw a bunch of younger african american girls yelling B--TCH at the top of their lungs to each other. Now, I'm no prude, but I had a long day of work and this was the last thing I needed. Then i noticed that one of the girls was in the Cabrini Green tutoring program I volunteer with- and I walked over and confronted them, saying I was very disappointed in their behavior, and they were immediately quiet. Kids are getting less and less parenting today. Its up to us to say something. Silence condones this behavior.
Posted by: Emily | July 18, 2006 at 09:31 AM
As far as I'm concerned, the best response to people with no manners is a simple "Shut the fuck up." They seem to understand that.
Posted by: underscorebleach | July 18, 2006 at 12:31 PM
It's become more dangerous to be a community parent.
You have to be more careful than say in the 70's when you were less likely to be shot for asking someone to behave. And back then you were more likely to have the support of the parent if you scolded a kid.
But it's not just kids. As a society, we're all a bit more lose-lipped than before. The pop culture makes it less fashionable to be civil, unfortunately.
So everyone has to make an effort to set the example through their own behavior.
You'd be amazed at how positively it could affect those around you.
Posted by: deepkid | July 18, 2006 at 04:03 PM
It makes me wonder a bit that the author writes: "Their conversation was spiked with liberal use of both the F-word and the N-word. These guys weren’t threatening at all, they were just funny in their gossiping."
I'm not a square and I can curse a blue streak, but I don't do it in public where it shows a lack of sophistication and class. And I'm not okay with other people imposing their handicap for civilized conversation on me in a public place.
The fact that nothing was said to the idiots that were subjecting everyone within hearing to their level of degradation is puzzling and sad. Mental train-wrecks like these idiots do what they do because no one tells them that it's wrong anymore. People just look the other way and blog about it..
Posted by: CoolHand | July 18, 2006 at 04:42 PM
I was on the train with a few teenage girls that was singing the song "I'm in Love with a Stripper". They were also doing pole dances between the words. Everybody on the train kinda had a little snicker across their face. Does this count as a lack of class and sophistication :)
Posted by: cmama | July 18, 2006 at 05:32 PM
this experience is the perfect argument for pro-choice.
Posted by: guest | July 18, 2006 at 05:36 PM