CTA Tattler

And the Geeked-Out Award goes to...

A nerdy-looking Asian guy in his mid-20s blasts bad '90s hip-hop through his huge Koss headphones from his Sony PlayStation Portable.

His backpack is tightly strapped to his back and around his waist. While listening to his PSP, he plays a racing game on the front console.

Then he pulls out one cell phone from his belt pocket, removes the SIM card, and inserts it into his second phone, a RAZR -- complete with belt clip.

He's got an Apple controller for his MP3 player around his neck, vying for chest space with his headphone cords.

This guys ranks as the most geeked out of the week.

The universal subway etiquette guide

 

New York Magazine printed this great photo montage (by Peter Rad) last month. Here's the key to the photo:

Rules of the underground: (1) Knees may be no more than six inches apart. (2) If you can't control your offspring, watch as a stranger does it for you. (3) What did we say about checking out the girls? (4) The Post is only 25 cents—buy your own. (5) Holding the subway door makes everyone on the train love you. (6) As does loud music. (7) Lie down on subway only if dead.   

Read the Urban Etiquette Handbook here.

Via The Indignant Citizen. And Mr. Indignant notes frequent Tattler contributor Tom Sherman's short post on the subject.

What's up with the wooden board on train cars?

CTA Tattler reader Carl posed this question via email: "What's the giant wooden plank by the door at the end of most cars?"

It's a good thing we have chicago-l.org to answer these questions:

"The board is a "gang plank" used to evacuate a train in certain situations, specifically when a train is outside of a station and there is another train along side the train being evacuated."

And it's a good to know there are some evacuation procedures such as these in place in cae of emergency.

Read the rest of the answer here for details.

Photo by Graham Garfield, from chicago-l.org.

Some motormen make fun announcements

Since automated train announcements started in 2000, I've missed the varying styles of motormen and conductors. So it's interesting when a motorman makes the effort to announce stops or just generally chat with riders.

For instance, there's the driver of the "Blessed Train." About 2-3 times north from the Loop to Howard, he will make this same general announcement:

"Welcome aboard the Blessed Train. The Blessed Train is the best train. Please check for your belongings before exiting, and have a blessed day."

Now, I don't usually like being proselytized to, but this guy is so mellow and subtle that's it's really not so obnoxious to me.

Then there's the guy who does a running commentary at every stop.

Loyola: "Rub a dub dub, good morning."

Wilson: "Good morning, Truman College students."

Sheridan: "Good morning, good to see you. Ladies first."

Lake: "Have a nice day. Don't work too hard."

Well, you have to admit their banter beats the:

"USE ALL DOORS! STAND CLEAR OF THE DOORS!"

Healthy, overweight females please DO apply

I love the train and bus ads soliciting people for medical experiments. It seems us CTA passengers are great research fodder -- from transcranial magnetic stimulation to depression. And I'm not sure why.

Regardless, here's the chance for all you "healthy, overweight women" out there to earn $650.

There are just three other qualifications to meet: You must be age 18-40, have regular periods and not be taking the pill.

Northwestern University is conducting the research study on metabolism. It asks participants to make up to 10 visits to to its research center in a one-year period. In return, you'll be compensated up to $650 and get free blood pressure, cholesterol and thyroid screenings.

In addition, you'll get a "free measure of your metabolism, percentage body fat, and personalized dietary plan by a certified dietitian.

To see if you qualify, call 800-847-6060 or send an email here.

Where NOT to charge your cell phone, laptop on train

Have you ever been stuck on a train with a dying cell phone, laptop or electric shaver? (If it was the latter, then get off the train you gross bastard!)

Well you can rev up all your chargeable tools on the train or light up a Christmas tree for that matter if you're seated in the right place.  UPDATE: Commenters below say it's very risky and dangerous to use these outlets!)

Here's where you can find the hidden electrical outlet on just about all train cars:

It's at the opposite end of the car from the motorman's cab and Hobo Corner. It's under the seats facing each other by the door, on the same side of the car as the infamous Corner.

The accompanying photos were taken with my cell phone, so my apologies that they aren't the best. But I think you get the picture and will soon be able to locate the outlet yourself to get a real charge out of the CTA.

Find the best deals on new laptop computers. Get customer ratings and professional price comparison. Check out this great comprehensive guide for buying laptop computers. Also find great deals on new mp3 players to go along with your new system. Get the latest in mp3 technology legal debates and who really pays the price for free music.

Weekend news, Brown Line blues

It's mid-July. Summer is slipping by. The CTA is scheduled to be finished with  the Brown Line rehab of Kedzie and Francisco by the end of August. (Look here for Zesmerelda's great Flickr set of photos of the Kedzie station rehab.)

But yesterday the CTA board had to cough up another $16 million for the Brown Line project, which overall is running 11% over budget, the Trib reports. I'm shocked, shocked I tell you!

Here are some random notes for the weekend, starting with the usual CTA warnings to leave extra time because they'll be working on the Clark Junction.

• The Brown Line update; how to see Bon Jovi: Good news - CTA is providing extra service to Soldier Field for the Bon Jovi concert. Bad news -- two words: Clark Junction.
• Ride the Pink Line and check out these hot spots from the Trib:
• CTA puts undamaged CTA Blue Line cars back in service.
• Earlier this week I wrote about what the NTSB had to say about the 2001 CTA accidents. Scott Gordon from Beachwood Reporter dug deeper, finding other incidents that NTSB weighed in on: "These reports suggest that while the CTA has followed some of the NTSB's recommendations, it didn't make full use of NTSB findings - or, say, basic logic and intuition - to fix pervasive safety problems, like drivers' negligence." Check it out at Beachwood Reporter.
• A four-hour tour: The CTA's Trip Planner Web site takes Adam on a very long journey from Lawrence and Western to Fullerton and Western. Yikes!

"Soul of Chicago Express" - a private El tour with music and snacks

Here's your chance to spend a Sunday afternoon on the El like no other, touring stations while groovin' to hot soul music as trains cover every CTA train line.

Brought to you by Chicagoist.com and Tony Coppoletta, public transit advocate and enthusiast, the Soul of Chicago Express departs the Wilson stop of the Red Line at 1 pm on Sunday, Aug. 27, and promises a 3.5-hour tour, music, food, history and more, all for just $27 per person.

As Tony said via email: "How often do you get to board at Wilson Track 1 or ride a train over the 13^th Incline from State Street Subway onto South Side Mainline?"

It would be a blast to fill at least one car of the train with CTA Tattler readers. And Tony and Chicagoist promise an after-party/meetup. Party!

So check the details here and signup. I'll see you there.

Doin' the Lean

A woman sleeps lustily in a window seat facing the seats by the door. Good thing she's there, because she's doin' the lean sleep, her head bobbing up and down, almost in her lap.

A guy sits next to her precariously, but suddenly jumps up when her head hits his knee.

She never woke up.

Finally, at North & Clybourn, cops on the security check came on the car and woke her up. It's the most useful the security has ever been.   

The difference between Paris and Chicago transit systems

Regular Tattler contributor cmama posted the following as a comment, but it deserves notice as a post on its own. Thanks for sharing, cmama!

I'm back from France. I did a little tour of Paris and used their transit system. It's so much more efficient, on time, cleaner and down right the best.

Every subway stop was lighted. Trains ran on time. Some stops had expected time of arrivals posted on a monitor. The rides were smooth. A one way ride was less than a one way ride here. The train stations themselves were not smelly, the people were just smelly (sorry if anyone here is French. If you've ever been there, you know what I mean).

As a whole, I think there were more crazies there that ride their trains than here. I was there for 3 days and saw way more crazies within that time than in Chicago. The thing that I loved was if you stood in the doorway, you got pushed without any warning or cursing. I think this is mostly due to the fact their train doors will close and cut off your arm if you try to hold it. There's no such thing as holding the door open for somebody running down/up the stairs. This is also probably why their trains run on time.

Also, they only have one conductor per train. They have a little monitor outside each station to watch so the conductor never has to get out of their seat to look out the window to see if the doors are clear. I don't think I ever saw a piece of trash on the train or on the platform even though they have vending machines on every platform. Their trains are just as long as the station platform so trains never overshoot the platform and there was never a sudden jerk to stop.

My only warning if you travel to Paris and ride their transit system, it shuts down at 1 am on the dot no matter where the train is on the route. We didn't know that and were transferring to our train to get to our hotel.

We were waiting in the station and kept hearing an announcement in French (it didn't help that neither of us knew french). We saw the station was clear and our train whizzed by us. We ran up the stairs and ran through the station -- which was bigger than O'Hare's Terminal 1. (It happened to be where 5 different trains cross and was kind of a center point for a few train stops). We finally run under the gates that were closing down that leads us to the exit.

We searched three sides of the building to find a door they hadn't locked to get outside. Nobody swept the station before closing and we nearly peed our pants trying to get out. When we did get out we had no idea where the hell we were and finally found a cab after walking 3 blocks. The next night, we just took a cab home and skipped the transit system all together.

The number of crazies on their trains outnumbered Chicago, but the craziest things those people do are far inferior to Chicago crazies.