CTA Tattler

Finally, someone mentions my two biggest pet peeves: pole-leaners and backpack-wearers. Great article, thanks for the link!

I'll add a couple:

When there are a bunch of people standing in an aisle, and you're one of them, and you're on one side of the aisle, and *every single freakin' other person* is on the other? Join them. Because if you do, there's a clear way for people to reach the doors. And if you don't, you're the moron blocking them.

And, sorry to contradict Mr. Kissko, but if there are seats and you just don't feel like sitting? Suck it up and sit. Get the hell out of the aisle or doorway. People who stand and block other passengers when there are a dozen or more seats to choose from Just Don't Get It.

One from this morning: If your ass is sufficiently large to contain the Annotated New Testament (Large Print Edition), be aware of what's on its other side. Don't pretend that you can't feel those slabs slapping the shoulders of the guy who's sitting next to where you're standing. Position yourself between people, not next to them.

Finally, an expansion of one of Chicago mag's observations: If you were nice enough to take your backpack off, don't just pick it up and avail yourself of its momentum to get it on your shoulders. One dimwitted student sent my glasses flying once because her backpack, which must have contained her collection of bowling balls, slammed into my head as she slung it around her back, and she didn't even mumble an "excuse me" as she wandered off.

In general, I wish we'd all JUST RIDE THE TRAIN. Get on, sit or stand, read or listen to something, converse at a reasonable level just with the people you're talking to, then get off at your stop -- but anything else could certainly wait until you're off the train: public performances, bathroom tasks, feasting, ranting, partying.

Also, when you people walk down the aisle with your handbag that you are carrying next to you, please lift it up high enough so you dont scratch and bump the knees of the people sitting. some of these huge purses and/or heavy leather bags really hurt when they bump the knees of those of us sitting and some of your handbags have sharp corners that really hurt when you bump the knees of us people sitting as you pass by.

Also when your reading your huge Tribune, and your are folding it in half, please make sure your newspaper is not too close to the ears of the person in front of you - it is very loud crinkling in the ears!

Also whomoever is eating, please stop eating stinky cheetos as the smell really wafts across to the others who do not like the smell of cheetos wafting in the air.

Also, if you feel that fat people are taking up too much of the seat, then maybe you should move closer to the beginning of the bus line. You will get a seat before all the oncoming fat people that take up one and a half seats.

Thats all I got to rant about today.

Speaking of jerky...does anyone have a strategy of how to handle an L driver who doesn't know how to speed up & slow down gradually? You know the ones...the ones who will constantly knock you over, jerk your neck, and generally give you a headache with the fits and starts as they jerk through a slow zone? Or even better...throw you against the wall because they don't realize that the back of the train hasn't cleared the turn before they start accelerating?

Do you get a car number and time? Do you buzz to the front and ask them to take it easy?

Again with the "butt-pivot" complaints...

Look, since I started reading this blog and discovered that the people who don't stand up to let me out are technically rude (I disagree, I'm fine with the butt-pivot and feel bad when fellow riders actually stand), I've stood when possible. But I have some exceptions:

1) Not at rush hour when the aisle is packed. I don't mean to come off rude, but I'd rather inconvenience one person than three. I'm not a herald making way for a monarch.

2) Hard-braking, whiplash-dealing drivers. I wait for a little deceleration before getting up. I got thrown against one of those poles once, square on the jaw, and it didn't feel good.

3) (More of a question) When there IS room for me to stand at rush hour, riders on the other side of the aisle sometimes throw me dirty looks b/c I've inadvertently caused gridlock. Is there an equitable solution to that situation?

I don't understand why they chose to use handles on the backs of seats instead of more floor to ceiling bars and overhead bars and handles, as they do in other cities. It's not a pleasant personal space situation for either person involved (especially not on a hot summer day, when the seated person often winds up spending their ride in someone's armpit). Plus, as a taller than average person, those handles are often hard to reach and too low to keep my balance, if the train is crowded.

1) Trimming your fingernails
2) Picking scabs

As for standing in the doorway, people really don't have much choice. The only places you really have to hold on is in the doorway. And if you step out, you risk not being able to get back on if the train is late and there is a pack of people trying to get on.

Yes, people have a choice about standing in the doorways unless the train is crowded. Even then, there usually is room in the aisle away from the doors.

Good point above, though, about being too tall to make use of the handholds on the backs of the seats. I'm short so it never occurred to me. I'll stop glaring at tall people who won't move into the aisle.

My pet peeve is those people who sit in the outer seat closest to the aisle, leaving an empty seat between them and the window. Move the hell over!

I can't stand the people who stand even if there are seats available to sit in. I don't care if you don't want to sit, suck it up and sit anyway so you can get out of other people's way!

An example of this is on an unnamed express bus on LSD where the first stop following the express run usually thins the crowd out a bit and opens up an empty seat or two, but there is still a large standing contingent. People should fill the seats to make the center less crowded and thus, easier for people to exit the bus.

Everyone needs to realize that public transportation is not personal rapid transit and we need to be considerate of others. When a train is full, it's full - so wait for the next one. There are times when there really isn't room for "just one more" and holding 600+ people up isn't going to win you any popularity contests.

Yesterday, a trixie's butt kept the doors from closing at the Armitage stop. Everyone on the platform kept telling her to get off because another train was right behind ours. She actually asked why the train couldn't move if the doors weren't completely closed! I asked her if she was that f-cking stupid and she just stared at me through her gigantic sunglasses. We were in the front car and the operator finally told her she was holding us up and to get off the train so we could leave. It's hard to believe that people are so clueless and self-centered.

And one from just this morning: I don't care how tired you are. You can't lean against me as you fall asleep. Even accidentally, but this dimwit carefully chose her spot from a number of empty aisle seats. Stood there in the aisle, looked at all of us, pondered, and sat down with an exaggerated sigh. Tried to smoosh me against the window of the train, and I finally had to push back pretty hard to be able to sit in my entire seat. And *she* wasn't happy about it. But as inconvenienced as she was by having only her half of the bench, she still managed to fall asleep against me. And this was a luxury nap; she was very well dressed (her little leather cap, I'm sure, cost more than everything I was wearing combined).

She was also pretty unhappy with me when I said "Excuse me" to get off at Grand, and, you know, really, I try not to be a jerk, but her butt pivot (which I'm generally OK with) was so minimal that I felt no guilt at all "accidentally" whacking her with my shoulder bag.

For some reason, what gets my goat are people not used to the train—usually coming or going from Cubs games—who board and can't seem to figure out that you have to *hang on*. Once the train starts, they then topple over into someone else.

I disagree with a couple of the Chicago Magazine "tips":

"Breath control" -- It's not always possible for someone to breath through their nose, especially for some people, and at certain times of the year. Trust me on this. If someone's leaning close enough to you that they're breathing on your neck, well, then they're pretty goddamn close. And it has nothing to do with breathing out of their mouth.

"Backpackers, beware" -- for most spaces, and in most instances on the train, a backpack does not take up space someone else could stand in. If you want to be my backpack, that's a little creepy. There are some times and some areas when I'll take the backpack off, but keeping it on the floor at your feet is unpleasant because: 1) You have to position your feet so it not only stays in place, but stays protected 2) You're standing in an awkward position since you now have to keep a bag between your feet while maintaining your balance and 3) You have to move it every time someone wants past you in either direction. There are much worse wastes of space on the train than to worry about this one.

No "butt pivots." -- Why is this even an issue? On a crowded train, it's actually more hassle and effort to move people out of the way so you can stand up to let someone out. Now, there are a few seats where the "butt pivot" doesn't work that well, but for most seats it works wonderfully. And, afterwards, you can slide into their window seat (if you're the pivoter)..

There are much worse wastes of space on the train than to worry about this one.

I have no problem with backpacks taking up space - I do have a problem with the backpacker not remembering they have a huge hump on their back and hitting me in the face or back with it when they turn around. Move slowly, please.

@Joe Blow: I second Anna. The space consumed by a backpack tends to be the space I was in a second ago before an oblivious backpacker threw me somewhere -- or into someone -- else.

IMO there is nothing wrong with standing against the partitions as long as you step outside to let people off. I hate when some m'fer tries to jack my spot too. You can see my bag still on the floor so don't try to pretend like you thought I was leaving every damn stop!

One thing I hate are the people who put the crack of their azz on the partition pole. I really want to give them a slight nudge and send them sailing down the aisle.

Lastly, don't get on at the opposite door and frantically race me to the last open seat on my side of the train.

^^ I 2nd itzmeeee. It's crowded enough in the morning on the eternally infernally late Blue Line...if I get off the train to let others off and you, platform-dweller, try to sail in to my spot, you have another thing coming.

Do you know if CTA is planning work on the Blue Line that goes out to Forest Park? (from downtown to Forest Park/Oak Park?? any details?

More than half these problems are caused by our stupidly-designed train cars in the first place. You don't see problems with butt pivots, faces in armpits or crotches, or people in mortal terror of moving away from the doors in NY or Europe, where all the cars have 1 row of seats facing inward and plenty of standing space in the center.

As much as I'll miss the abiliy to sit in the direction the train is moving and daydream out the window (that is, if the window isn't already covered in nasty hair grease from a previous, unwashed rider), I'll be so happy when the CTA phases in the better, high-capacity cars...in 10 or 20 years!