Politely ignoring him
Two ladies board the northbound Red Line at Belmont. A 50-ish seated gentleman gets up to offer his seat. The first woman -- also around 50 -- politely declines. The second woman -- about 40 years old - accepts the kind offer.
The first woman who declined is very nice, actually touching the man on his arm and noting the "not many men give up their seats for ladies anymore."
The guy then launches into a long soliloquy about housing opportunities in Uptown, and how he missed his chance at snatching up a house awhile back, and he could have made a lot of money by now, and there are very few opportunities like that around anymore, and he's getting older and he wouldn't be able to do it now anyway, and yackety yak yak yak.
And it is a soliloquy because the woman doesn't say a word. She just politely nods, looking down, looking away, and nodding some more, and still politely nods all along throughout the yackety yak without replying or engaging him.
It's obvious she is sending him non-verbal signals that she's uninterested in his life story. But she's just too polite to tell him so or put him off.
And besides, she knows Wilson isn't too far away.
At Wilson she gets off the train as soon as she could, waving him off: "Bye! This is my stop."
Not many men do cause there's no reason for them to. Unless a woman is elderly or pregnant, she can stand with the rest. Nothing rude about it.
Posted by: Anna | October 03, 2007 at 02:51 PM
Or disabled, of course.
Posted by: Anna | October 03, 2007 at 02:51 PM
I just posted this elsewhere on the site, but thought I would bring it up here in the context of "people who don't seem to respect personal space or be able to take a hint;" it is in response to someone who referred to the guy as "El Lothario:"
REGARDING EL LOTHARIO --
I live about 1/2 block from the CTA's Western Brownline stop; I'm at the stop 5-6 mornings each week and see this guy nearly every day. He is a creepy freakin' wierdo. He's like a heat seeking missle with women; or more like a puppy that follows and won't go away.
It creeps me out so much that I walk my wife to the station even when I'm not taking the train. Is there a customer complaint line I can call? This guy seems like he lacks impulse control or something.
I haven't done it before, but I'm going to start now -- I REALLY want to encourage everybody who has seen or experienced this behavior to call him out and to contact the CTA.
He always follows smartly-dressed, attractive, younger (20s-40s), women all the way up the stairs and hunkers down right next to them, chatting away in a "helpful" way until the train comes by; then he goes back downstairs to lay in wait. Everybody seems too polite to call him out.
Not to sound like I'm profiling -- I make the following comment just so you can recognize him, -- the designation "EL LOTHARIO" sounds Spanish (or Italian? -- or maybe the "El" is a joke for Elevated Train), I think this bloke is of South Asian ethnicity, perhaps Pakistanian.
I would guess he is about 5-foot-7 or so, dark eyes, early middle age (or at least in his 40s), dark hair, balding, a bit paunchy, usually hanging out in the starters gate right by the handicapped-accessible entryway.
Posted by: Jeff | October 03, 2007 at 05:14 PM
It was nice of him to offer his seat. I have to say I feel sorry for people that are so lonely that they find it necessary to corner others like this. I also feel sorry for their patient listeners. (most of the time)
How many times have we all been in this lady's shoes? Sure it's nice to talk to strangers once in a while, but sometimes people give WAY too much info!
Thank goodness for the iPOD!!!
Posted by: T&A | October 07, 2007 at 11:25 AM
Jeff,
You accompany your wife to the El, even when you're not taking it??? I can see that if it's late at night, but, the Western Brown Line is like heaven compared to many stations.
Seriously, as a woman, I've found that all it takes is a slightly loud, stern, "I don't feel like talking," then don't make any more eye contact, and quickly move away if the romeo is next to you.
If the guy pursues at all after that, she should make the biggest, profanity-laced stink that she can. Loudly stating things like "I don't know you. Get away from me," to draw attention to the situation.
If the guy is too bold to slink off after that, she should get out and get a CTA agent. (Or even get out when he first approaches, if he makes her very uncomfortable. She should trust her gut.)
I haven't seen this particular "El Lothario" that you mention, but your wife needs to be rude and stand up for herself. She wasn't put here to be cowed by creepy old men. And creepy old men count on the fact that women are too "nice" to stick up for themselves.
Posted by: ivy | October 08, 2007 at 09:19 AM
Ivy:
My post didn't make this clear -- this "El Lothario" guy IS the CTA station agent.
He never quite crosses the line -- but doesn't observe personal space, is relentless in his chatter, and singles out young women who are alone.
Posted by: Jeff | October 08, 2007 at 01:29 PM
Oh, I'm sorry I misunderstood. Luckily I've missed this guy (or, more likely, I'm not young enough for him) Ha!
What a creep! Report that! Following someone is crossing the line. Eww.
Posted by: Ivy | October 08, 2007 at 04:45 PM